I have to reproach myself is that, without
intending it, I caused him great unhappiness; for when he was nineteen
years old he had a burning desire to know who he was, and as he saw that
I was determined to be silent, growing more firm the more he tormented
me with questions, he made up his mind henceforward to disguise his
curiosity and to make me think that he believed himself a love-child
of my own. He began to call me 'father,' although when we were alone
I often assured him that he was mistaken; but at length I gave up
combating this belief, which he perhaps only feigned to make me speak,
and allowed him to think he was my son, contradicting him no more; but
while he continued to dwell on this subject he was meantime making
every effort to find out who he really was. Two years passed thus, when,
through an unfortunate piece of forgetfulness on my part, for which I
greatly blame myself, he became acquainted with the truth. He knew
that the king had lately sent me several messengers, and once having
carelessly forgotten to lock up a casket containing letters from the
queen and the cardinals, he read part and divined the rest through his
natural intelligence; and later confessed to me that he had carried off
the letter which told most explicitly of his birth.

"'I can recall that from this time on, his manner to me showed no longer
that respect for me in which I had brought him up, but became hectoring
and rude, and that I could not imagine the reason of the change, for I
never found out that he had searched my papers, and he never revealed to
me how he got at the casket, whether he was aided by some workmen whom
he did not wish to betray, or had employed other means.

"'One day, however, he unguardedly asked me to show him the portraits of
the late and the present king. I answered that those that existed were
so poor that I was waiting till better ones were taken before having
them in my house.

"'This answer, which did not satisfy him, called forth the request to be
allowed to go to Dijon. I found out afterwards that he wanted to see a
portrait of the king which was there, and to get to the court, which was
just then at Saint-Jean-de-Luz, because of the approaching marriage with
the infanta; so that he might compare himself with his brother and see
if there were any resemblance between them. Having knowledge of his
plan, I never let him out of my sight.

"'The young prince was at this time as beautiful as Cupid,