he
failure. Moreover, there were many of the most deadly sins into which I
never fell, for I dreaded those mentioned in the Revelations as
excluding sins, so that I guarded against them continually. In
particular, I brought myself to despise, if not to abhor, the beauty of
women, looking on it as the greatest snare to which mankind was
subjected, and though young men and maidens, and even old women (my
mother among the rest), taxed me with being an unnatural wretch, I
gloried in my acquisition; and, to this day, am thankful for having
escaped the most dangerous of all snares.

I kept myself also free of the sins of idolatry and misbelief, both of
a deadly nature; and, upon the whole, I think I had not then broken,
that is, absolutely broken, above four out of the ten commandments;
but, for all that, I had more sense than to regard either my good
works, or my evil deeds, as in the smallest degree influencing the
eternal decrees of God concerning me, either with regard to my
acceptance or reprobation. I depended entirely on the bounty of free
grace, holding all the righteousness of man as filthy rags, and
believing in the momentous and magnificent truth that, the more heavily
loaden with transgressions, the more welcome was the believer at the
throne of grace. And I have reason to believe that it was this
dependence and this belief that at last ensured my acceptance there.

I come now to the most important period of my existence--the period
that has modelled my character, and influenced every action of my
life--without which, this detail of my actions would have been as a
tale that hath been told--a monotonous farrago--an uninteresting
harangue--in short, a thing of nothing. Whereas, lo! it must now be a
relation of great and terrible actions, done in the might, and by the
commission of heaven. Amen.

Like the sinful king of Israel, I had been walking softly before the
Lord for a season. I had been humbled for my transgressions, and, as
far as I recollect, sorry on account of their numbers and heinousness.
My reverend father had been, moreover, examining me every day regarding
the state of my soul, and my answers sometimes appeared to give him
satisfaction, and sometimes not. As for my mother, she would harp on
the subject of my faith for ever; yet, though I knew her to be a
Christian, I confess that I always despised her motley instructions,
nor had I any great regard for her person. If this was a crime in me, I
neve