en.

He tried again and again, and yet again, to write the farewell words;
he tried, till the floor all round him was littered with torn sheets of
paper. Turn from them which way he would, the old times still came back
and faced him reproachfully. The spacious bed-chamber in which he
sat, narrowed, in spite of him, to the sick usher's garret at the
west-country inn. The kind hand that had once patted him on the
shoulder touched him again; the kind voice that had cheered him spoke
unchangeably in the old friendly tones. He flung his arms on the table
and dropped his head on them in tearless despair. The parting words
that his tongue was powerless to utter his pen was powerless to write.
Mercilessly in earnest, his superstition pointed to him to go while the
time was his own. Mercilessly in earnest, his love for Allan held him
back till the farewell plea for pardon and pity was written.

He rose with a sudden resolution, and rang for the servant, "When Mr.
Armadale returns," he said, "ask him to excuse my coming downstairs, and
say that I am trying to get to sleep." He locked the door and put out
the light, and sat down alone in the darkness. "The night will keep us
apart," he said; "and time may help me to write. I may go in the early
morning; I may go while--" The thought died in him uncompleted; and
the sharp agony of the struggle forced to his lips the first cry of
suffering that had escaped him yet.

He waited in the darkness.

As the time stole on, his senses remained mechanically awake, but his
mind began to sink slowly under the heavy strain that had now been laid
on it for some hours past. A dull vacancy possessed him; he made no
attempt to kindle the light and write once more. He never started; he
never moved to the open window, when the first sound of approaching
wheels broke in on the silence of the night. He heard the carriages draw
up at the door; he heard the horses champing their bits; he heard the
voices of Allan and young Pedgift on the steps; and still he sat quiet
in the darkness, and still no interest was aroused in him by the sounds
that reached his ear from outside.

The voices remained audible after the carriages had been driven away;
the two young men were evidently lingering on the steps before they took
leave of each other. Every word they said reached Midwinter through the
open window. Their one subject of conversation was the new governess.
Allan's voice was loud in her praise. He had nev