ring up her note-book and papers). That's for me.
(She hurries out.)

BURGESS (calling after her). Oh, we can spare you. (Somewhat relieved
by the triumph of having the last word, and yet half inclined to try to
improve on it, he looks after her for a moment; then subsides into his
seat by Eugene, and addresses him very confidentially.) Now we're
alone, Mr. Morchbanks, let me give you a friendly 'int that I wouldn't
give to everybody. 'Ow long 'ave you known my son-in-law James here?

MARCHBANKS. I don't know. I never can remember dates. A few months,
perhaps.

BURGESS. Ever notice anything queer about him?

MARCHBANKS. I don't think so.

BURGESS (impressively). No more you wouldn't. That's the danger in it.
Well, he's mad.

MARCHBANKS. Mad!

BURGESS. Mad as a Morch 'are. You take notice on him and you'll see.

MARCHBANKS (beginning). But surely that is only because his opinions--

BURGESS (touching him with his forefinger on his knee, and pressing it
as if to hold his attention with it). That's wot I used tee think, Mr.
Morchbanks. Hi thought long enough that it was honly 'is hopinions;
though, mind you, hopinions becomes vurry serious things when people
takes to hactin on 'em as 'e does. But that's not wot I go on. (He
looks round to make sure that they are alone, and bends over to
Eugene's ear.) Wot do you think he says to me this mornin' in this very
room?

MARCHBANKS. What?

BURGESS. He sez to me--this is as sure as we're settin' here now--he
sez: "I'm a fool," he sez;--"and yore a scounderl"--as cool as
possible. Me a scounderl, mind you! And then shook 'ands with me on it,
as if it was to my credit! Do you mean to tell me that that man's sane?

MORELL. (outside, calling to Proserpine, holding the door open). Get
all their names and addresses, Miss Garnett.

PROSERPINE (in the distance). Yes, Mr. Morell.

(Morell comes in, with the deputation's documents in his hands.)

BURGESS (aside to Marchbanks). Yorr he is. Just you keep your heye on
him and see. (Rising momentously.) I'm sorry, James, to 'ave to make a
complaint to you. I don't want to do it; but I feel I oughter, as a
matter o' right and duty.

MORELL. What's the matter?

BURGESS. Mr. Morchbanks will bear me out: he was a witness. (Very
solemnly.) Your young woman so far forgot herself as to call me a silly
ole fat 'ead.

MORELL (delighted--with tremendous heartiness). Oh, now, isn't that
EXACTLY like Prossy? She's so frank: she can