stayed for an instant struggling for words, then went on:

"We can call a truce now. We don't like one another, but just at the
moment you're moved a little because I'm feeble and shall be dead in a
fortnight. That disturbs you.... It needn't. Some months ago a moment
did come when I realized that I should die soon. I hated it--I fought
and struggled with all my might ... but now that it has come it doesn't
matter. Nothing matters. I regret nothing. I've had my time. I hate the
new generation, the manly woman and the soft man with all this
sentimental nonsense about caring for other people. Think of yourself,
fight for yourself, keep up your pride--that's the only way the world's
ever been run. You're a sentimentalist and you're making one of
Roddy.... Nonsense it all is.... But all this isn't what I really wanted
to say." She turned back and her eyes, as again they held Rachel, were
softer.

"Roddy's been my only weakness. I've loved that boy and he's far too
good and fine for a wobbler like yourself. That's why I hated it the
other day. I couldn't bear that he should see me beaten by the pair of
you, both of you thinking yourself so noble with your fine
confessions--not that I believe a word that you said--but it was clever
of you. You _are_ clever and know how to manage men.

"Yes, that hurt me, but afterwards I loved him all the better, I
believe. I'd rather he hadn't written me that soppy letter, but that was
your doing, of course.... But listen. After I'm gone, I want Roddy to
think of me kindly. He's going to think very much what you make him.
It's in your hands. You, when you've got past this sentimental moment,
will hate the memory of me. It's natural that you should and I'm sure I
don't mind. But I want you to leave Roddy alone. If he likes to think of
me kindly, let him. Don't blacken his mind to me. I wish to feel--my
only weakness I do believe--that Roddy will be fond of my memory. That
rests with you."

She stopped with a little final movement of her head as though, having
said what had been in her mind for a long while, she was finished,
absolutely, with it all, and wanted no word more with any human being.

Rachel answered quietly: "You've said some rather hard things. You
mustn't feel that I'd ever try to make Roddy think badly of you. That's
not fair.... I'm not very proud of myself, but you don't understand me.
You've always been determined not to--and perhaps, in the same way, I've
not understoo