d fortune
throughout our realm. Have you many such ingenious gentlemen in your
kingdom, Lady Rebecca?"

"Oh, dear me, yes!" said Rebecca, somewhat contemptuously. "Copernicus
Droop ain't nobody in America."

Droop glanced reproachfully at his compatriot, but concluded not to give
expression to his feelings. Accordingly, he very quickly substituted
another cylinder, and turned again to the Queen.

"Now, your Majesty," said he, "here's a comic monologue. I tell you,
verily, it's a side-splitter!"

"What may a side-splitter be, Master Droop?"

"Why, in sooth, somethin' almighty funny, you know--make a feller laugh,
you wot."

Elizabeth nodded and, with a smile of anticipation, which was copied by
all present, prepared to be amused.

Alas! The monologue was an account of how a farmer got the best of a
bunco steerer in New York City, and was delivered in the esoteric
dialect of the Bowery. It was not long before willing smiles gave place
to long-drawn faces of comic bewilderment, and, although Copernicus set
his best example by artificial grins and pretended inward laughter, he
could evoke naught but silence and bored looks.

"Marry, sir," said Elizabeth, when the monologue was at an end, "this
needs be some speech of an American empire other than that you come
from. Could you make aught of it, Lady Rebecca?"

"Nothin' on airth!" was the reply. "Only a word now an' then about a
farmer--an' somethin' about hayseed."

"Now, here's a reg'lar bird!" said Droop, hastily, as he put in a new
cylinder.

"Can you thus record e'en the voices of fowls?" said the Queen, with
renewed interest.

Hopeless of explaining, Droop bowed and touched the starting-button. The
announcement came at once.

"Liberty Bells March--Edison Record," and after a few preliminary
flourishes, a large brass band could be heard in full career.

This proved far more pleasing to the Queen and her suite.

"So God mend us, a merry tune and full of harmony!" said the Queen.

"But that ain't all, your Majesty," said Droop. "Here's a blank
cylinder, now." He adjusted it as he spoke and unceremoniously pushed
the instrument close to the Queen. "Here," he said, "jest you talk
anythin' you want to in there and you'll see suthin' funny, I'll bet
ye!" He was thoroughly warmed to his work now, and the little court
etiquette which he had acquired dropped from him entirely.

The Queen's eager interest had been so aroused that she was unconscious
of his t