ll say that
you went back from your word just because of a few precious stones.
I wouldn't like to have it said of me anyhow."

This was very hard to bear, but Mary found herself compelled to
bear it. She had determined not to be led into an argument with Mrs
Baggett on the subject, feeling that even to discuss her conduct
would be an impropriety. She was strong in her own conduct, and knew
how utterly at variance it had been with all that this woman imputed
to her. The glitter of the diamonds had been merely thrown in by Mrs
Baggett in her passion. Mary did not think that any one would be so
base as to believe such an accusation as that. It would be said of
her that her own young lover had come back suddenly, and that she had
preferred him to the gentleman to whom she was tied by so many bonds.
It would be said that she had given herself to him and had then taken
back the gift, because the young lover had come across her path. And
it would be told also that there had been no word of promise given to
this young lover. All that would be very bad, without any allusion
to a wealth of diamonds. It would not be said that, before she had
pledged herself to Mr Whittlestaff, she had pleaded her affection
for her young lover, when she had known nothing even of his present
existence. It would not be known that though there had been no
lover's vows between her and John Gordon, there had yet been on both
sides that unspoken love which could not have been strengthened by
any vows. Against all that she must guard herself, without thinking
of the diamonds. She had endeavoured to guard herself, and she had
thought also of the contentment of the man who had been so good to
her. She had declared to herself that of herself she would think not
at all. And she had determined also that all the likings,--nay, the
affection of John Gordon himself,--should weigh not at all with her.
She had to decide between the two men, and she had decided that both
honesty and gratitude required her to comply with the wishes of the
elder. She had done all that she could with that object, and was it
her fault that Mr Whittlestaff had read the secret of her heart, and
had determined to give way before it? This had so touched her that it
might almost be said that she knew not to which of her two suitors
her heart belonged. All this, if stated in answer to Mrs Baggett's
accusations, would certainly exonerate herself from the stigma thrown
upon her, but to Mrs Ba