-will was expected, as a
real compliment to the wisdom and justice of the magistrate. We have
heard of an Irishman at Donnybrook Fair, who was likely to be
disappointed of his addicted battle, finding no one to answer his
challenge; and who cried to the crowd, "I'll thank any gentleman, just
once to tread on the tail o' my coat, that my sport may begin!" A
similar character was Tilly Troffater, and never more thankful was he
than when opportunity encouraged his quarrelsome mood; and never more
amazed or provoked at the manner in which the laws were administered,
than when his broils were suppressed while rising, and his litigations
closed as soon as he began them.

The hardest thing, under heaven, did it seem for a lawsuit to make any
progress, while Matthew Fabens was Justice of the Peace, in
Summerfield. Pestilent Tilly was always scheming to provoke such
evils, and was always threatening his neighbors with a lawsuit.
Sometimes he would come post-haste for a warrant, or summons, or
attachment; again, he would be in hot distress to swear his life was in
danger, or his squalid character was at stake; or his neighbor's pigs
had rooted up a few weeds in his garden, or some mischievous boy had
thrown a stone through a paper pane of his window; or mounted his most
personable scare-crow on his chimney-top, arrayed in a potato necklace,
and holding a dead snake in hand; or he had secrets to disclose which
would reveal astounding villanies, that threatened the peace of the
town.

But it had always been his misfortune to fail of his designs. Not a
scrap of a warrant or other process could he obtain. Not the lisp of a
word or oath would the good Squire take from his lying lips. "Get rid
of your passion; go home, and work, and help me keep the peace," was
Fabens' reply to all quarrelsome fellow-citizens.

And yet, the happy fortune to sustain his long administration, without
having to confess a case of law had been brought to trial before him,
was not reserved for Squire Fabens. Numberless little difficulties had
been dragged into notice by three or four uncomfortable bodies, who
sought the excitement of a quarrel to rally the lagging pleasures of
indolence; and a few of these demanded his attention. But he had ever
found it for the good of the parties in trouble, as for the general
welfare, and his own satisfaction, to calm the raging waters of
passion, by counsel, kind and wise; reconcile the antagonists, and
bring