airy articles
of female apparel in which ladies are wont to place their hands,
handkerchiefs, and scent-bottles. Although not given to the use of
slang, I avail myself of it on this occasion, the word "muff" being
eminently expressive of a certain class of boys, big as well as little,
old as well as young. There are three distinct classes of boys--namely,
muffs, sensible fellows, and boasters. I say there are three distinct
classes, but I do not say that every boy belongs to one or other of
those classes. Those who have studied chemistry know that nature's
elements are few. Nearly all kinds of matter, and certainly all
varieties of mind, are composite. There are no pure and simple muffs.
Most boasters have a good deal of the muff in them, and many muffs are
boasters; while sensible fellows are occasionally tinged with a dash of
both the bad qualities--they are, if I may be allowed to coin a word,
_sensible-boasto-muffers_! Still, for the sake of lucidity, I will
maintain that there are three distinct phases of character in boys.

The muff is a boy who from natural disposition, or early training, or
both, is mild, diffident, and gentle. So far he is an estimable
character. Were this all, he were not a muff. In order to deserve that
title he must be timid and unenthusiastic. He must refuse to venture
anything that will subject him to danger, however slight. He must be
afraid of a shower of rain; afraid of dogs in general, good and bad
alike; disinclined to try bold things; indifferent about learning to
swim. He must object to the game called "dumps," because the blows from
the ball are sometimes severe; and be a sworn enemy to single-stick,
because the whacks are uncommonly painful. So feeling and acting, he
will, when he becomes a man, find himself unable to act in the common
emergencies of life--to protect a lady from insolence, to guard his
house from robbery, or to save his own child should it chance to fall
into the water. The muff is addicted to boasting sometimes, especially
when in the company of girls; but when on the playground he hangs on the
skirts of society, and sings very small. There are many boys, alas! who
are made muffs by injudicious training, who would have grown up to be
bold, manly fellows had they been otherwise treated. There are also
many kinds of muffs. Some are good-hearted, amiable muffs; others are
petty, sneaking muffs.

With many of the varieties I have a strong sympathy,