uth, he was rather unsightly, for he was bedabbled with mud from his
feet to his head, and his big umbrella looked as if it had been on the
spree and rolled in the gutter; altogether he appeared in unusual style
for a public meeting. It was no matter to him, however. He just shook
himself like a dog out of the water, placed his bundle of whalebones
and gingham in a quiet corner, rubbed his numbed hands together, and
went smiling on to the platform. Nothing would satisfy the people but
that he should speak at once, so he rose to his feet amid the hearty
clapping of the whole audience, and said, "I niver knew so mich of th'
trials of missionary wark in my loife as I do naa. I've been in
trainin' for this meetin'. I've had to endure storms, rain, tempest,
and dangers seen and unseen, for it wor that dark on th' road I could
hardly see mysen, so, loike a returned missionary, I think I ought to
let yo' knaw some'at abaat my trials." (Hear, hear.) "Well, yo' knaw,
when I promised to come to this meetin', I meant being here somehaa,
but I 'av had a job. I thowt as I wor comin' I would mak' it as easy
as I could for mysen, so I borrowed aar neighbour's mule. I didn't
knaw mich abaat riding, so he telled me I wor to keep tight hold o' th'
bridle, as th' owd mule had a way o' tumblin' fore'ards. Well, I gat
on th' back wi' my umbrella oppen, for it wor pouring daan rain, and we
set off, all three on us, umbrella, th' mule, and me. We gat on
alroight most o' th' way. I had to scold th' owd animal sometimes, and
tell him to get on or we'd be too late for th' meeting, so we kept
gaining a bit o' graand by degrees, but troubles wor ahead. What wi'
thinking abaat my speech and holding th' umbrella roight, I forgat to
keep a toight hold o' th' bridle, and all at once th' mule tript, and
th' umbrella and me went roight over his head into th' dike. I really
wor astonished at mysen, and didn't know which to blame--th' mule or
me. I think I ne'r gat off a cuddy so quick in my loife afore; and th'
owd mule would hardly understand me I daresay, for he stopt in a moment
and look'd over at me as if he wor wondering if I always gat off in
that fashion. However, I soon scrambled aat o' th' dike, and after a
good bit o' trying I maanted agean and set off on th' road; but I
hadn't gone far before I faan some'at wor wrang wi' th' bridle. I
couldn't guide th' beast roight somehaa, so I felt abaat to try if I
could foind aat what it wo