the "wasty dip," but never such a retched
one as that from Dover to Balong, in the year Anna Domino 1818. Steemers
were scarce in those days; and our journey was made in a smack. At last,
when I was in a stage of despare and exostion, as reely to phansy myself
at Death's doar, we got to the end of our journey. Late in the evening
we hailed the Gaelic shoars, and hankered in the arbor of Balong
sir-mare.

It was the entrans of Parrowdice to me and master: and as we entered the
calm water, and saw the comfrabble lights gleaming in the houses, and
felt the roal of the vessel degreasing, never was two mortials gladder,
I warrant, than we were. At length our capting drew up at the key, and
our journey was down. But such a bustle and clatter, such jabbering,
such shrieking and swaring, such wollies of oafs and axicrations as
saluted us on landing, I never knew! We were boarded, in the fust place,
by custom-house officers in cock-hats, who seased our luggitch, and
called for our passpots: then a crowd of inn-waiters came, tumbling and
screaming on deck--"Dis way, sare," cries one; "Hotel Meurice," says
another; "Hotel de Bang," screeches another chap--the tower of Babyle
was nothink to it. The fust thing that struck me on landing was a
big fellow with ear-rings, who very nigh knock me down, in wrenching
master's carpet-bag out of my hand, as I was carrying it to the hotell.
But we got to it safe at last; and, for the fust time in my life, I slep
in a foring country.

I shan't describe this town of Balong, which, as it has been visited by
not less (on an avaridg) than two milliums of English since I fust
saw it twenty years ago, is tolrabbly well known already. It's a dingy
melumcolly place, to my mind; the only thing moving in the streets is
the gutter which runs down 'em. As for wooden shoes, I saw few of 'em;
and for frogs, upon my honor I never see a single Frenchman swallow
one, which I had been led to beleave was their reg'lar, though beastly,
custom. One thing which amazed me was the singlar name which they give
to this town of Balong. It's divided, as every boddy knows, into
an upper town (sitouate on a mounting, and surrounded by a wall, or
bullyvar) and a lower town, which is on the level of the sea. Well, will
it be believed that they call the upper town the Hot Veal, and the other
the Base Veal, which is on the contry, genrally good in France, though
the beaf, it must be confest, is excrabble.

It was in the Base