h supports all
the complex structure of our life. When I think of him thus, the man of
the people earns my gratitude. That it is gratitude from afar, that I
never was, and never shall be, capable of democratic fervour, is a
characteristic of my mind which I long ago accepted as final. I have
known revolt against the privilege of wealth (can I not remember spots in
London where I have stood, savage with misery, looking at the prosperous
folk who passed?), but I could never feel myself at one with the native
poor among whom I dwelt. And for the simplest reason; I came to know
them too well. He who cultivates his enthusiasm amid graces and comforts
may nourish an illusion with regard to the world below him all his life
long, and I do not deny that he may be the better for it; for me, no
illusion was possible. I knew the poor, and I knew that their aims were
not mine. I knew that the kind of life (such a modest life!) which I
should have accepted as little short of the ideal, would have been to
them--if they could have been made to understand it--a weariness and a
contempt. To ally myself with them against the "upper world" would have
been mere dishonesty, or sheer despair. What they at heart desired, was
to me barren; what I coveted, was to them for ever incomprehensible.

That my own aim indicated an ideal which is the best for all to pursue, I
am far from maintaining. It may be so, or not; I have long known the
idleness of advocating reform on a basis of personal predilection. Enough
to set my own thoughts in order, without seeking to devise a new economy
for the world. But it is much to see clearly from one's point of view,
and therein the evil days I have treasured are of no little help to me.
If my knowledge be only subjective, why, it only concerns myself; I
preach to no one. Upon another man, of origin and education like to
mine, a like experience of hardship might have a totally different
effect; he might identify himself with the poor, burn to the end of his
life with the noblest humanitarianism. I should no further criticize him
than to say that he saw with other eyes than mine. A vision, perhaps,
larger and more just. But in one respect he resembles me. If ever such
a man arises, let him be questioned; it will be found that he once made a
meal of blackberries--and mused upon it.

XVI.

I stood to-day watching harvesters at work, and a foolish envy took hold
upon me. To be one of those b