re of the intended marriage of both daughters; and the young
ladies were equally acquainted with the intention of their estimable
parent. They agreed, however, that it would have a much better
appearance if each feigned ignorance of the other's engagement; and it
was equally desirable that all the marriages should take place on the
same day, to prevent the discovery of one clandestine alliance, operating
prejudicially on the others. Hence, the mystification of Mr. Calton and
Mr. Septimus Hicks, and the pre-engagement of the unwary Tibbs.

On the following morning, Mr. Septimus Hicks was united to Miss Matilda
Maplesone. Mr. Simpson also entered into a 'holy alliance' with Miss
Julia; Tibbs acting as father, 'his first appearance in that character.'
Mr. Calton, not being quite so eager as the two young men, was rather
struck by the double discovery; and as he had found some difficulty in
getting any one to give the lady away, it occurred to him that the best
mode of obviating the inconvenience would be not to take her at all. The
lady, however, 'appealed,' as her counsel said on the trial of the cause,
_Maplesone_ v. _Calton_, for a breach of promise, 'with a broken heart,
to the outraged laws of her country.' She recovered damages to the
amount of 1,000_l._ which the unfortunate knocker was compelled to pay.
Mr. Septimus Hicks having walked the hospitals, took it into his head to
walk off altogether. His injured wife is at present residing with her
mother at Boulogne. Mr. Simpson, having the misfortune to lose his wife
six weeks after marriage (by her eloping with an officer during his
temporary sojourn in the Fleet Prison, in consequence of his inability to
discharge her little mantua-maker's bill), and being disinherited by his
father, who died soon afterwards, was fortunate enough to obtain a
permanent engagement at a fashionable haircutter's; hairdressing being a
science to which he had frequently directed his attention. In this
situation he had necessarily many opportunities of making himself
acquainted with the habits, and style of thinking, of the exclusive
portion of the nobility of this kingdom. To this fortunate circumstance
are we indebted for the production of those brilliant efforts of genius,
his fashionable novels, which so long as good taste, unsullied by
exaggeration, cant, and quackery, continues to exist, cannot fail to
instruct and amuse the thinking portion of the community.

It only remain