tched day--and so it was. 'I knew how it would be,' said Dumps,
as he turned round opposite the Mansion-house at half-past eleven o'clock
on the Friday morning. 'I knew how it would be. _I_ am concerned, and
that's enough;'--and certainly the appearance of the day was sufficient
to depress the spirits of a much more buoyant-hearted individual than
himself. It had rained, without a moment's cessation, since eight
o'clock; everybody that passed up Cheapside, and down Cheapside, looked
wet, cold, and dirty. All sorts of forgotten and long-concealed
umbrellas had been put into requisition. Cabs whisked about, with the
'fare' as carefully boxed up behind two glazed calico curtains as any
mysterious picture in any one of Mrs. Radcliffe's castles; omnibus horses
smoked like steam-engines; nobody thought of 'standing up' under doorways
or arches; they were painfully convinced it was a hopeless case; and so
everybody went hastily along, jumbling and jostling, and swearing and
perspiring, and slipping about, like amateur skaters behind wooden chairs
on the Serpentine on a frosty Sunday.

Dumps paused; he could not think of walking, being rather smart for the
christening. If he took a cab he was sure to be spilt, and a
hackney-coach was too expensive for his economical ideas. An omnibus was
waiting at the opposite corner--it was a desperate case--he had never
heard of an omnibus upsetting or running away, and if the cad did knock
him down, he could 'pull him up' in return.

'Now, sir!' cried the young gentleman who officiated as 'cad' to the
'Lads of the Village,' which was the name of the machine just noticed.
Dumps crossed.

'This vay, sir!' shouted the driver of the 'Hark-away,' pulling up his
vehicle immediately across the door of the opposition--'This vay,
sir--he's full.' Dumps hesitated, whereupon the 'Lads of the Village'
commenced pouring out a torrent of abuse against the 'Hark-away;' but the
conductor of the 'Admiral Napier' settled the contest in a most
satisfactory manner, for all parties, by seizing Dumps round the waist,
and thrusting him into the middle of his vehicle which had just come up
and only wanted the sixteenth inside.

'All right,' said the 'Admiral,' and off the thing thundered, like a
fire-engine at full gallop, with the kidnapped customer inside, standing
in the position of a half doubled-up bootjack, and falling about with
every jerk of the machine, first on the one side, and then on the o