he broad arrow,
Clear and distinct as tooth o' harrow!

The sicht o't caused great consternation,
Hech sirs! Gudesake! and sic-like exclamation.
Jean Tosh she gat as white's a sheet;
And Nell and Bell began to greet,
But Meg had nae sic trepidation,
And wanted mair investigation.
'Cummers,' says she, 'let's see his sark,
Aiblins it likewise bears the mark.'
'Fie!' Jenny cried, wi' blushing cheeks,
'Eneugh! we've seen the Skipper's breeks,
Sic zeal may weel become a howdie,
I draw the line at breeks,' quo' Jenny Braidie.
'What!' Meg rejoined, 'you pented jade,
You dare to scorn my honest trade!
'Tis ill for you to mak' reflection,
Your ain will scarcely stand inspection.'
And snorting red, on mischief bent,
She turned to me for my consent.
I saw that things were getting serious,
And feared they jauds so keen and curious.
Meg's birse was up and no mistake,
Her match she had in Jean the rake.
'Twas time to still the wordy clatter,
And pour the ile on troubled water.
'Leddies,' said I, 'your sympathy is precious,
To me you've been most kind and gracious,
With all your care I'm deeply gratified,
And as to proof, completely satisfied.'

[Illustration]

Nurse heard me, saw the cummer's zeal,
And looked as if diverted weel.
She laughed, amused at the sensation,
But flat refused the explanation,
And chaffed and scoffed in huge derision,
Declaring they had lost their reason.
'You doited women, don't you see
What is so evident,' says she,
'This good-for-nothing drunken wight
Has sat upon his pipe alight,
No doubt the cause of mark and pain.
To me it is as porridge plain.'

'Nurse!' I exclaimed, enraged, indignant,
'Your explanation is repugnant
To reason, sense, and proof, and feelin';
Don't think that with a fool you're dealin',
For though to drink a slave I've been,
I say it, with contrition keen,
I ne'er had horrors, what they ca' _D.T._
In Latin tongue, whatever that may be;
You hand your ain, and I keep my opinion,
I ken my failin's, I'm but human.'
('Twas nae use arguing wi' a woman.)

Now Jock my story's told, my yarn is ended,
Some things there be that can't be mended;
As broken hearts, and damaged reputation,
Like club-held gane past reparation,
Beyond the savin' powers o' glue,
New leather face, or nails, or screw.
Not so, thank God, an evil habit,
Heaven spare me that I liv