ave attempted what was proposed to me with a reasonable
chance of being able to fulfil my task.

I was told afterwards that I had been guilty of "disloyal
disobedience to a royal command,"--a severe sentence, which I do not
think I had deserved, and found it painful to bear.]

KING STREET, Saturday, February 9th, 1848.

Mrs. Jameson is no longer in the house with me, dearest Hal. She went
away the other day from the theatre, where we were hearing Mendelssohn's
"Antigone" together, and will probably not return for some time; when
she does, I shall most likely be out of town.

I saw Mitchell yesterday, and he entirely declines to have anything
whatever to do with my readings--_ainsi me voila bien!_ I cried like a
baby the whole of the day afterwards; of course my nerves were out of
order, or I should have chosen some less rubbishy cause among the
various excellent reasons for tears I have to select from.

Mr. Harness and Charles and Henry Greville came to see me in the course
of the day. The latter rather bullied me, said I behaved like a child:
and so I certainly did; but, oh, my dear Hal, if you knew how little
these, my most intimate friends, know about me, and how much more able
and fit they think me to fight and struggle for myself than I am! They
are all very kind in suggesting many things: Henry Greville is urgent
with me to undertake the speculation of giving readings at my own
risk--hiring a room, and sending out advertisements, etc.; but this I
will not do, as I am willing' to work hard for very small gains, but not
to jeopardize any portion of the small gains for which I have worked
hard. Am I right in your opinion and that of dear Dorothy? In the mean
time, I have written off to the Secretary of the Collegiate Institution
at Liverpool, who proposed to me last year to give readings there, and
have told him that I shall be glad to do so now if it still suits the
purposes of the Institution. He, however, may have changed his mind, as
Mitchell has done, and in that case I must sit down and eat my present
savings, and thank God that I have savings for the present to eat....

Dear old Rogers came yesterday, and sat with me some time; and talking
over my various difficulties with me, said I had much better go and live
with him, and take care of his house for him. It's a pretty house, but
I'm afraid it would be no sinecure to be his housekeeper....

How _is_ your poo