e: and I oftimes having guns amongst my hands to dress, took it
up, and (not adverting that it was loaded) thinking her not good, tried
to fire her; whereupon she went off, and the ball went up through a loft
above, and had almost killed a woman and a child; and had not providence
directed that shot, I had suffered as a murderer: And am I not obliged
to follow and suffer for the _chiefest among ten thousands_, that has so
honoured me a poor wretch? for many other things have escaped me; but I
may not stay to mention what the Lord has done for me both at field
preachings and other places.

"I have had a continued warfare, and my predominants grew mightily on my
hand, which made my life sometimes heavy; but, amongst the many sweet
nights and days I have had, was that 23d in the evening and 24th in the
morning of August, 1681. The Lord was kind to me; that was the beginning
of mornings indeed, whereon I got some of the Lord's love, and whereon I
got an open door, and got a little within the court, and there was
allowed to give in what I had to say either as to my own souls case or
the case of the church which is low at this day. I have indeed had some
sweet days since, but I have misguided them, and could not keep in with
him; for my corruptions are so mighty, that sometimes I have been made
to cry out, Woes me that ever I was born a man of strife and contention
to many. _O wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from me from
the body of this death?_ But the Lord maketh up all again with his
love; so that I have many ups and downs in my case.--I have forgotten
some things particularly worthy remark: Such as, one night I was set
upon by a French captain when out of town; but the Lord remarkably
delivered me and brought me back again. So the Lord has let me see, I
might have been staged for worse actions. So that I have no ground but
to be for God while I live, and bless his name that ever honoured me
with this dignity of suffering for his name and honourable cause.

"What will become of me is yet uncertain; but upon some considerations,
what the land was doing in bringing in of popery--the love I bear to the
Lord and his righteous cause, made me give in my protestation against
the parliament, which this present year 1681 has made laws for the
strengthening of popery: and I could do no less; for the glory of God
was dearer to me than my life.

"And now for any thing I know, I will be tortured, and my life taken,
and s