d.
"'I was happy,' I said; 'for I had a dear little master to bring up,
who never for a moment let me feel that I was not his own mother, but
only a penniless servant-girl.'
"He took my hand, and said; 'Right, you dear old woman! but if to live
here, one must needs have everything one wishes, or nothing, why should
I despair of having everything?'"
"I held my tongue, for I did not dare to begin first to speak of what
he might be thinking needful to his happiness. He guessed what I was
thinking of, for he said:
"'To be sure, even if the greatest of all gifts were within my reach,
who knows whether I should be allowed to take it? Curious, how men
contradict themselves! There is my father now, who never goes to court,
because, he says, the nobility of to-day has nothing thorough-bred
about it, if it be not in the stables. Yet how would he look, if I were
to go and propose giving him a daughter who was only a blameless girl,
who had been his servant? But I am talking nonsense. It is not likely
that I shall be tempted to make such a proposal.'"
"'The safest way not to be tempted, is to go abroad;' I said, at last,
as he sat silent and discouraged. 'For, my dear Count Ernest, if
Mamsell Gabrielle appears to have no eyes for her young master, I am
certain it is only because she is a servant girl, and knows what she is
about. It would be a thousand pities for the poor child, if she were to
suffer her heart to escape her through her eyes, for there would be no
recalling it. I know her well: she has a brave spirit of her own; if
she were to say:--"I will do this, if I were to die for it,"--she
_would_ do it and die, without a word.'
"God knows, I found it hard to say all this to my darling boy, and
moreover, presently I found that I had only been making matters worse.
"He had never hoped that the girl could love him, but now he
interpreted her reserve more favorably; he thought it might be
forced--in self-defence--to enable her to stand more firm; and that
perhaps she suffered from it no less than he did. And indeed I thought
the same. I, too, thought her changed since Count Ernest had been at
home; she had grown graver and more absent. I often saw her sweet face
change from white to red, without any sufficient cause. I meant to
speak to my young count at the very first opportunity, and entreat him
to come to some decision; to settle it one way or the other. But the
opportunity did not come of itself, and I wanted
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