. Truckloads of monkeys
arrived at the lab--cold-ridden monkeys, sneezing, coughing, weeping,
wheezing monkeys by the dozen. Culture trays bulged with tubes,
overflowed the incubators and work tables. Each day six hundred angry
students paraded through the lab, arms exposed, mouths open, grumbling
but co-operating.
At the end of the first week, half the monkeys were cured of their colds
and were quite unable to catch them back; the other half had new colds
and couldn't get rid of them. Phillip observed this fact with grim
satisfaction, and went about the laboratory mumbling to himself.
Two days later he burst forth jubilantly, lugging a sad-looking puppy
under his arm. It was like no other puppy in the world. This puppy was
sneezing and snuffling with a perfect howler of a cold.
The day came when they injected a tiny droplet of milky fluid beneath
the skin of Phillip's arm, and then got the virus spray and gave his
nose and throat a liberal application. Then they sat back and waited.
They were still waiting three days later.
"It was a great idea," Jake said gloomily, flipping a bulging notebook
closed with finality. "It just didn't work, was all."
Phillip nodded. Both men had grown thin, with pouches under their eyes.
Jake's right eye had begun to twitch uncontrollably whenever anyone came
within three yards of him. "We can't go on like this, you know. The
people are going wild."
"Where's Coffin?"
"He collapsed three days ago. Nervous prostration. He kept having dreams
about hangings."
Phillip sighed. "Well, I suppose we'd better just face it. Nice knowing
you, Jake. Pity it had to be this way."
"It was a great try, old man. A great try."
"Ah, yes. Nothing like going down in a blaze of--"
Phillip stopped dead, his eyes widening. His nose began to twitch. He
took a gasp, a larger gasp, as a long-dead reflex came sleepily to life,
shook its head, reared back ...
Phillip sneezed.
He sneezed for ten minutes without a pause, until he lay on the floor
blue-faced and gasping for air. He caught hold of Jake, wringing his
hand as tears gushed from his eyes. He gave his nose an enormous blow,
and headed shakily for the telephone.
* * * * *
"It was a sipple edough pridciple," he said later to Ellie as she spread
mustard on his chest and poured more warm water into his foot bath. "The
Cure itself depedded upod it--the adtiged-adtibody reactiod. We had the
adtibody
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