a cubic metre is in my business. It is a thousand litres, that suited me.

"But the price remained to be settled. All depends on the quality. I
said: 'How much do you want a cubic metre?'

"He answered: 'Two thousand francs.'

"I gave a bound like a rabbit, and then I reflected that a woman ought
not to measure more than three hundred litres. So I said: 'That's too
dear.'

"He answered: 'I cannot do it for less. I should lose by it.'

"You understand, one is not a dealer in hogs for nothing. One understands
one's business. But, if he is smart, the seller of bacon, I am smarter,
seeing that I sell them also. Ha, Ha, Ha! So I said to him: 'If she were
new, I would not say anything, but she has been married to you for some
time, so she is not as fresh as she was. I will give you fifteen hundred
francs a cubic metre, not a sou more. Will that suit you?'

"He answered: 'That will do. That's a bargain!'

"I agreed, and we started out, arm in arm. We must help each other in
this world.

"But a fear came to me: 'How can you measure her unless you put her into
the liquid?'

"Then he explained his idea, not without difficulty for he was full. He
said to me: 'I take a barrel, and fill it with water to the brim. I put
her in it. All the water that comes out we will measure, that is the way
to fix it.'

"I said: 'I see, I understand. But this water that overflows will run
away; how are you going to gather it up?'

"Then he began stuffing me and explained to me that all we should have to
do would be to refill the barrel with the water his wife had displaced as
soon as she should have left. All the water we should pour in would be
the measure. I supposed about ten pails; that would be a cubic metre. He
isn't a fool, all the same, when he is drunk, that old horse.

"To be brief, we reached his house and I took a look at its mistress. A
beautiful woman she certainly was not. Anyone can see her, for there she
is. I said to myself: 'I am disappointed, but never mind, she will be of
value; handsome or ugly, it is all the same, is it not, monsieur le
president?' And then I saw that she was as thin as a rail. I said to
myself: 'She will not measure four hundred litres.' I understand the
matter, it being in liquids.

"She told you about the proceeding. I even let her keep on her chemise
and stockings, to my own disadvantage.

"When that was done she ran away. I said: 'Look out, Brument! she is
escaping.'

"He replied: 'Do