, he must come like a Christian and look after himself."

I will not dwell on our departure. It was a sadly flurried one, for a
cat of my temperament. The ladies saw us off, and as my young mistress
covered me with farewell kisses, I felt an unquestionable pang of
regret. But one has to repress one's affections, and consider one's
prospects in life, if one does not want to come upon the Deserted Cats'
Fund!

My master put his hat on the back of his head on the steps, and knocked
it off in shouting through a hole in the roof of the cab that we were to
drive like the wind, as we were late. At the last moment several things
were thrown in after us. A parcel of books he had lent the young lady,
and a pair of boots he had left behind on some former occasion. The
books were very neatly packed, and addressed, but the boots came "like
Christians, and looked after themselves." And through all, I clung fast,
and blessed the inherited vigour of my grandmother's claws.

At the parcels office, I certainly risked nine lives among the fourteen
parcels which were dragged and pitched, and turned over in every
direction; but though he paid me no other attention, my master never
forgot to put back a hand to help me when we moved on. Eventually we
found ourselves alone in a very comfortable carriage, and I suppose the
fourteen packages were safe too, thanks to the desperate struggles of
five porters, who went off clutching their paws as if they were
satisfied with the result.

After incommoding me for some time by rustling newspapers, and making
spasmodic struggles to find a posture that suited him, my master found
one at last and fell asleep, and I crept up to the velvet collar of his
great-coat and followed his example.

CHAPTER III.

I like living with bachelors. They have comfortable chairs, and keep
good fires. They don't put water into the tea-pot: they call the
man-servant and send for more tea. They don't give you a table-spoonful
of cream, fidgeting and looking round to see if anybody else wants it:
one of them turns the jug upside-down into your saucer, and before
another can lay hold of it and say, "Halloa! The milk's all gone,"--you
have generally had time to lap it up under the table.

I prefer men's outsides, too, to women's in some respects. Why all human
beings--since they have no coats of their own, and are obliged to buy
them--do not buy handsomely marked furs whilst they are about it, is a
puzzle to a cat