s that spot of earth,
That literal spot which gave him birth;
And swears, "Belcamp[6] is, to his taste,
As fine as Hampton-court at least."
When to your friends you would enhance
The praise of Italy or France,
For grandeur, elegance, and wit,
We gladly hear you, and submit;
But then, to come and keep a clutter,
For this or that side of a gutter,
To live in this or t'other isle,
We cannot think it worth your while;
For, take it kindly or amiss,
The difference but amounts to this,
We bury on our side the channel
In linen; and on yours in flannel.[7]
You for the news are ne'er to seek;
While we, perhaps, may wait a week;
You happy folks are sure to meet
A hundred whores in every street;
While we may trace all Dublin o'er
Before we find out half a score.
You see my arguments are strong,
I wonder you held out so long;
But, since you are convinced at last,
We'll pardon you for what has past.
So--let us now for whist prepare;
Twelve pence a corner, if you dare.

[Footnote 1: Dr. Swift had been used to celebrate the birth-day of his
friend Charles Ford, which was on the first day of January. See also the
poem, "Stella at Wood Park."--Dr. Delany mentions also, among the Dean's
intimate friends, "Matthew Ford, Esq., a man of family and fortune, a
fine gentleman, and the best lay scholar of his time and
nation."--_Nichols_.]

[Footnote 1: A celebrated tavern in St. James' Street, from 1711 till
about 1865. Since then and now, The Thatched House Club.--_W. E. B_.]

[Footnote 3: Mary, youngest daughter of the Duke of Marlborough,
"exquisitely beautiful, lively in temper, and no less amiable in mind
than elegant in person," married in 1703, to Lord Mounthermer, son of the
Earl, afterwards Duke, of Montagu. See Coxe's "Life of Marlborough," i,
172.--_W. E. B._]

[Footnote 4: Dr. Corbet, afterwards Dean of St. Patrick's, on the death
of Dr. Maturine, who succeeded Dr. Swift.]

[Footnote 5: Robert and John Grattan, and John and Daniel Jackson.--_H._]

[Footnote 6: In Fingal, about five miles from Dublin.--_H._]

[Footnote 7: The law for burying in woollen was extended to Ireland in
1733.]

ON DREAMS

AN IMITATION OF PETRONIUS

Petronii Fragmenta, xxx.

THOSE dreams, that on the silent night intrude,
And with false flitting shades our minds delude
Jove never sends us downward from the skies;
Nor can they from infernal mansions rise;
But are all mere productions of the brain,
And fools consult inte