practitioner to go home and read his book. "_Read my book_" was a
very frequent reply to his patients also; and he could seldom be
prevailed upon to prescribe or give an opinion, if the case was one
which appeared to depend upon improper dieting. A country farmer, of
immense weight, came from a distance to consult him, and having given
an account of his daily meals, which showed no small degree of
addiction to animal food, Mr. Abernethy said, "Go away, sir, I won't
attempt to prescribe for such a _hog_."

He was particular in not being disturbed during meals; and a gentleman
having called after dinner, he went into the passage, put his hand
upon the gentleman's shoulders, and turned him out of doors. He would
never permit his patients to talk to him much, and often not at all:
and he desired them to hold their tongues and listen to him, while he
gave a sort of clinical lecture upon the subject of the consultation.
A loquacious lady having called to consult him, he could not succeed
in silencing her without resorting to the following expedient:--"Put
out your tongue, madam." The lady complied. "Now keep it there till
_I_ have done talking." Another lady brought her daughter to him one
day, but he refused to hear her or to prescribe, advising her to make
the girl take exercise. When the guinea was put into his hand, he
recalled the mother, and said, "Here, take the shilling back, and buy
_a skipping-rope_ for your daughter as you go along."--He kept his
pills in a bag, and used to dole them out to his patients; and on
doing so to a lady who stepped out of a coronetted carriage to consult
him, she declared they made her sick, and she could never take a pill.
"Not take a pill! what _a fool_ you must be," was the courteous and
conciliatory reply to the countess. When the late Duke of York
consulted him, he stood whistling with his hands in his pockets; and
the duke said, "I suppose you know who I am." The uncourtly reply was,
"Suppose I do, what of that?" His pithy advice was, "Cut off the
_supplies_, as the Duke of Wellington did in his campaigns, and the
enemy will leave the citadel." When he was consulted for lameness
following disease or accidents, he seldom either listened to the
patient or made any inquiries, but would walk about the room,
imitating the gait peculiar to different injuries, for the general
instruction of the patient. A gentleman consulted him for an ulcerated
throat, and, on asking him to look into it,