n preferring a stupid, ugly, and ill-mannered
man to one who is well-educated, intellectual, and agreeable. Hence,
people of extremely different temperament frequently marry for
love--that is to say, _he_ is coarse, strong, and narrow-minded, while
_she_ is very sensitive, refined, cultured, and aesthetic, and so on; or
_he_ is genial and clever, and _she_ is a goose.

"Sic visum Veneri; cui placet impares
Formas atque animos sub juga aenea
Saevo mittere cum joco."

The reason for this is, that she is not influenced by intellectual
considerations, but by something entirely different, namely, instinct.
Marriage is not regarded as a means for intellectual entertainment, but
for the generation of children; it is a union of hearts and not of
minds. When a woman says that she has fallen in love with a man's mind,
it is either a vain and ridiculous pretence on her part or the
exaggeration of a degenerate being. A man, on the other hand, is not
controlled in instinctive love by the _qualities_ of the woman's
_character_; this is why so many a Socrates has found his Xantippe, as
for instance, Shakespeare, Albrecht Duerer, Byron, and others. But here
we have the influence of intellectual qualities, because they are
inherited from the mother; nevertheless their influence is easily
overpowered by physical beauty, which concerns more essential points,
and therefore has a more direct effect. By the way, it is for this
reason that mothers who have either felt or experienced the former
influence have their daughters taught the fine arts, languages, etc., so
that they may prove more attractive. In this way they hope by artificial
means to pad the intellect, just as they do their bust and hips if it is
necessary to do so. Let it be understood that here we are simply
speaking of that attraction which is absolutely direct and instinctive,
and from which springs real love. That an intelligent and educated woman
esteems intelligence and brains in a man, and that a man after
deliberate reasoning criticises and considers the character of his
_fiancee_, are matters which do not concern our present subject. Such
things influence a rational selection in marriage, but they do not
control passionate love, which is our matter.

Up to the present I have taken into consideration merely the _absolute_
considerations--_id est_, such considerations as apply to every one. I
now come to the _relative_ considerations, which are individual, becau