il me with
tenderness."

"I could repent of it at this moment."

"It would be too late now. But I will not be bitter--no, indeed I will
not. And yet if you are to understand me I must own that so long as I was
young I longed bitterly for the love which no one offered me."

"And you yourself have never loved?"

"No--but it pained me that I could not. In Plotina's apartments I often
saw the children of her relations, and many a time I tried to attract
them to me, but while they would play confidently with other women they
seemed to shun me. Soon I even grew cross to them--only our Verus, the
little son of Celonius Commodus, would give me frank answers when I spoke
to him, and would bring me his broken toys that I might mend their
injuries. And so I got to love the child."

"He was a wonderfully sweet, attractive boy."

"He was indeed. One day we women were all sitting together in Caesar's
garden. Verus came running out with a particularly fine apple that Trajan
himself had given him. The rosy-cheeked fruit was admired by every one.
Then Plotina, in fun took the apple out of the boy's hand and asked him
if he would not give his apple to her. He looked at her with wide-open
puzzled eyes, shook his curly head, ran up to me and gave me--yes, me,
and no one else--the fruit, throwing his arms round my neck and saying,
'Sabina you shall have it.'"

"The judgment of Paris."

"Nay, do not jest now. This action of an unselfish child gave me courage
to endure the troubles of life. I knew now that there was one creature
that loved me, and that one repaid all that I felt for him, all that I
was never weary of doing for him with affectionate liking. He is the only
being, of whom I know, that will weep when I die. Give him the right to
call me his mother and make him our son."

"He is our son," said Hadrian, with dignified gravity, and held out his
hand to Sabina. She tried to lift it to her lips but he drew it away and
went on:

"Inform him that we accept him as our son. His wife is the daughter of
Nigrinus--who had to go, as I desired to stay and stand firm. You do not
love Lucilla, but we must both admire her for I do not know another woman
in Rome whose virtue a man might vouch for. Besides, I owe her a father,
and am glad to have such a daughter; thus we shall be blessed with
children. Whether I shall appoint Verus my successor and proclaim to the
world who shall be its future ruler I cannot now decide; for that I need