t a crime, and
you know how impatiently passion sweeps me along. But what misfortunes
have assailed me! The army destroyed; the desertion of Herod and
Pinarius; Antony's generous, trusting heart torn by base treachery, his
soul darkened; the reconstruction of the canal, the last hope--Gorgias
brought the news--the same as destroyed. Just then little Alexander came
to show me his bird's nest. Everything else in the garden seemed to him
worthless by comparison. This awakened new thoughts, and now here is the
little house which the children have built with their own hands. All
these things forced me by some mysterious power to look back along the
course of my life to the distant days in your father's house--I--These
children! Upon what different foundations our lives have been built! I
made them begin at the point I had gained when youth lay behind me. My
childhood commenced among the disorders of the government, clouded by my
father's exile and my mother's death, on the brink of ruin. That of the
twins--they are ten years old--will soon be over--and now, after enjoying
pleasures not one of which was bestowed on me, they must endure the same
sorrow. But did not we have better ones? What they daily possessed we
only dreamed of in our simple garden. How often I let you share the
radiant visions which my soul revealed to me! You willingly accompanied
me into the splendid fairy world of my dreams. All that my imagination
conjured up during the years of quiet and repose accompanied me into my
after-life. Again and again I have beheld them, rich and powerful, upon
the throne. The means of rendering the vision a varity were at hand; and
when I met the man whose own life resembled the realization of a dream, I
recalled those childish fancies and made them facts. The marvels with
which I adorned my lover's existence were childish dreams to which I gave
tangible form. This garden is an image of the life to which I intended to
rise; in reality, fell. We collected within the limits of this bit of
earth everything which can delight the senses; not a single one is
omitted in this narrow space, whose crowded maze of pleasures fairly
impede freedom of movement. Yet in your home, and guided by your wise
father, I had learned to be content with so little, and commenced the
struggle to attain peace. That painless peace--our chief good--whence
came it? Through me it was lost to you both But the children--I made them
begin their lives in an aren