, despite all the trials and discouragements of his life. To him,
as to every writer, came the realisation that his power to help and
uplift was measured by his own suffering. His readers were enriched by
his poverty. There were times when the knowledge soothed, times again
when the natural man rose in revolt, and demanded bread for his own
soul.
"You tell me that I have succeeded," he said bitterly to Meriel; "but I
have never tasted the savour of success. I have no child to inherit my
name, and my wife does not care--even in the early days she cared
nothing for my work. Never in her life has she read an article of mine
from beginning to end. When I told her of a fresh commission she asked
always--`How much will it be?' After the first year I never mentioned
my work. The poorest clerk hurrying home to tell his wife of a
ten-pound rise, feeling sure of her sympathy and understanding, is
richer than I. He _has_ his reward!"
Meriel found courage to ask a question which had long hovered on her
lips.
"You were so very different. At school Flora never pretended to be
intellectual. Why did you ever--"
"Marry her?" his face softened, he drew a retrospective sigh. "I loved
her, Meriel! That was the reason. She was young, and sweet, and
trustful, and when a pretty girl steals into a man's heart he does not
stop to inquire into her brain powers. I have reproached myself because
the glamour so soon faded, but I am thankful to remember that it was an
honest marriage; I loved her truly, and she loved me. My poor Flora! I
believe she does still. It's very pitiful."
Meriel turned her head so that he should not see her face. The
tenderness of his tone was painful to her, the thought of those early
days of married love tortured her heart. The world seemed to her a
cruel place, where men and women were tried beyond their strength.
"At least you have had something!" she told him wistfully. "Your golden
time passed quickly, but you had the experience. You are a man, and to
men work comes first. You can lose yourself in it, forget your
disappointments, and escape to a new world. And you have made a great
reputation. Men praise you, admire you, are helped by you. Doesn't
_that_ help?"
"I wonder," he said vaguely. "I wonder!"
They sat in silence gazing at the waste of waters sparkling in the
noonday sun. When after some moments he spoke again, it was apparently
to introduce a new topic.
"What d
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