an' eats up each other."

And how nearly Curly was right about the "cannibiles"--at least,
metaphorically--he doubtless never learned.

"But, Curly," I asked, "didn't you have any fun? Must have hit up the
theaters a few, didn't you, eh!"

"Wall, I should say I shore did," he replied. "I shore went to a
the-_a_-ter, but she didn't get my funny-bone busy none."

"Why, Curly," I asked, "how's that?"

"Wall, you see it's thisaway. When you turned me loose down to th'
stockyards, I axed th' commission man what was th' ring-tailedest
lally-cooler of a hotel in town, an' he tells me she's th' Palmer House.

"Then I ropes a kid an' hobbles him with four bits long enough to run me
through th' milling herd of short-horns as fer as th' Palmer.

"On th' way I stops to a store an' buys a new hat, an' a pair o'
high-heel boots, an' a new suit, shirt, an' red handkerchief, an' a
little ol' humany war sack with a handle on her, an' inter her I puts my
belt an' spurs.

"Then, when I gets fixed up jest like them city folks, I pikes along to
th' Palmer, an' in I goes.

"An' she was a shore lally-cooler all right! More prittys about th'
fixin' up o' that house that I'd allowed anything but a woman could
pack.

"Wall, when I got in I axed for Mr. Palmer, an' a little feller in sorta
soldier-brass-button-clothes runs me up to a little close pen with a
fence round her slicker than airy bar in Fort Worth--all glass an' shiny
wood an' dandy stones. In that thar pen was a quick-talkin', smart-aleck
feller, with a di'mond big as a engin' head-light staked out in th'
middle of his bald-faced shirt.

"That feller shore rubbed my hair th' wrong way th' minute he shot his
mouth off, with:

"'Wall, what kin I do for you, young feller?'

"'_You_ cain't do a ding thing for me, Mr. Man,' I ups an' tells him.
'Hain't got nairy business with pikers like you-all. I don't git to
Chicago often, but when I do I plays with nothin' but blue chips, an'
bets th' limit every whirl.'

"'Wall, what do you want, anyway?' he jerks out.

"'Want to see Mr. Palmer; got some p'rticular business with him,' says
I.

"'Sorry, sir,' says he, 'Mr. Palmer ain't around this time of day. Is
your business with him private?'

"'I reckon she _are_ private,' says I; 'want to see him an' find out ef
I kin git to stay all night in this yere _ho_tel of his'n.'

"An' I reckon about that time that thar smart aleck must o' thought of
somethin' powerful funny that'd