ght have gone differently if the
first plan had been held to, God alone knows. His will has been done.
[Footnote 65: Received on the 22nd of December, or
thereabouts.]
[Pageheading: A NOBLE RESOLVE]
_Queen Victoria to the King of the Belgians._
OSBORNE, _24th December 1861_.
MY BELOVED UNCLE,--Though, please God! I am to see you so soon, I must
write these few lines to prepare you for the trying, sad existence you
will find it with your poor forlorn, desolate child--who drags on
a weary, pleasureless existence! I am also anxious to repeat _one_
thing, and _that one_ is _my firm_ resolve, my _irrevocable decision_,
viz. that _his_ wishes--_his_ plans--about everything, _his_ views
about _every_ thing are to be _my law!_ And _no human power_ will make
me swerve from _what he_ decided and wished--and I look to _you_ to
_support_ and _help_ me in this. I apply this particularly as regards
our children--Bertie, etc.--for whose future he had traced everything
_so_ carefully. I am _also determined_ that _no one_ person, may _he_
be ever so good, ever so devoted among my servants--is to lead or
guide or dictate _to me_. I know _how he_ would disapprove it. And I
live _on_ with him, for him; in fact _I_ am only _outwardly_ separated
from him, and _only_ for _a time_.
_No one_ can tell you more of my feelings, and can put you more in
possession of many touching facts than our excellent Dr Jenner, who
has been and is my great comfort, and whom I would _entreat_ you to
_see and hear_ before you see _any one else_. Pray do this, for _I
fear much_ others trying to see you first and say things and wish for
things which I _should not_ consent to.
Though miserably weak and utterly shattered, my spirit rises when I
think _any_ wish or plan of his is to be touched or changed, or I
am to be _made to do_ anything. I know you will help me in my utter
darkness. It is but for a short time, and _then_ I go--_never, never_
to part! Oh! that blessed, blessed thought! He seems so _near_ to
_me_, so _quite my own_ now, my precious darling! God bless and
preserve you. Ever your wretched but devoted Child,
VICTORIA R.
What a Xmas! I won't think of it.
[Pageheading: BUSINESS STILL TRANSACTED]
_Viscount Palmerston to Queen Victoria._
PICCADILLY, _30th December 1861_.
Viscount Palmerston presents his humble duty to your Majesty, and has
read with deep emotion your Majesty's letter of the 26th, every
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