'll be a laughing-stock
For everybody's sport."

This conversation that took place
Made pious Willie grin,
And tell John Bull to hold his noise,
'Twas nought to do with him.

These words to John did make him stare,
And finding to his shame,
That those were worse who did look on,
Than those who played the game.

Now Mrs. Europe knew the facts
Which had been going on,
And with her usual dignity,
These words addressed to John:

"Now, Mr. Bull, pray answer me,--
Why are you gaping here?
You are my famous deputy,
Then why not interfere?"

"Why," answered John, and made a bow,
But yet was very shy,
"I was told to be a neutral, ma'am,
And that's the reason why."

"That's just what you should not have done,
Being in authority;
Did I not place you in that bunk
To think and act for me?

"Why any baby in the house
Could not have done much worse,
But I fancy you've been holding back
To save your private purse.

"Neutrality is as fine a word
As ever a coward used,
The honour that I gave to you
You shouldn't have abused."

The minor lodgers in the house,
On hearing this, to John,
Began to whisper and to laugh,
And call'd it famous fun.

At last a little urchin said,
"Please ma'am I'd take my oath,
'At master John was neutral,
And stuck up for them both."

"Stuck up for both, offended both,--
Yes that is what you mean?"
Continued Madame Europe,
Then spoke to John again:

"Now I'll tell you what it is, John,
We've long watch'd your career,
You take your fags' advice to save
Your paltry sums a year.

"There's Bob and Bill, besides some more,
That I call naught but scums,
They've got you fairly in between
Their fingers and their thumbs.

"If such like men as Ben and Hugh
This day your fags had been,
They would have saved both you and me
This curs'd disgraceful scene.

"Instead of bein' half-clad and shod,
As everybody knows,
You would have dared these rivals now
To come to such like blows.

"There was a time in this house, John,
If you put up your thumb,
The greatest blackguard tongue would stop
As if they had been dumb.

"But not a one in this here house
This moment cares a fig
For all you say or all you do,
Although your purse be big."

"I couldn't hurt poor Louis, ma'am,
Although he did begin;
And then you see that Will and I
Are very near akin.

"Beside, you see," said