should have no errand that day.

"I beg your pardon, general; but Major Platner was kind enough to say
that you had some service for me to perform."

"Eh?" demanded he, tossing up his head again.

Somers repeated the remark more explicitly than before.

"Exactly so; I remember. Do you know what I was thinking about just then,
young man?" said the general, spasmodically leaping to his feet again, as
though the thought was full of inspiration.

"No, sir; a man in my humble position could hardly measure the thoughts
of a great man in your situation."

"I'll tell you; I was thinking about issuing a division general order on
the subject of temperance. What do you think of it?"

"It would be an excellent idea," replied Somers.

"Young man!"

"Sir."

"I believe you said--hic----"

Somers did not say anything of the sort; but he waited patiently for the
rebel general to recover the idea which he appeared to have lost.

"I believe you said you never drank any whiskey?"

"I never did, sir."

"Then you never was drunk?"

"Never, sir."

"Young man!"

"Sir."

"Are you a--hic----"

Somers was not a "hic;" but he was an impatient young man, and very
anxious to be instructed in regard to his difficult and dangerous
mission.

"Are you a minister of the gospel?" demanded the general, after a mighty
effort.

"No, sir; I am not."

"I'm sorry for--hic--for that; for I wanted to appoint you a division
chaplain, to preach against whiskey to the general officers. Some of them
are--hic--drunken fellows, and no more fit for a command than the old
topers in the streets of Richmond."

"I am sorry I am not competent to fill the office; but I think, if you
should lecture them yourself, it would have a better effect."

"My words are--hic--powerless. They laugh when I talk to them about the
error of their ways," added he with a string of oaths, which seemed to
exhibit a further necessity for a chaplain on the division staff.

"I beg your pardon, sir; but I am afraid your interest in the moral
welfare of your officers----"

"That is it, young man!" interrupted the drunken general, catching at his
idea with remarkable promptness. "My interest in the moral welfare of
my--hic--of my officers! You are a trump, young man [big oath]. You are a
major now?"

"No, sir."

"Only a captain?"

"No, sir; nothing but a private."

"Then you shall be a captain. I haven't heard any such--hic--sentiments
as you expressed used i