tried to eat his supper, but the food choked him, and finding rest
impossible at the house, he went out of doors and up the slope to the
office, hopeful of finding work there to take his attention; but the
door was locked. He turned toward town with its dim, scattered lights,
but they mocked him, and everywhere he looked he saw only the strained
face of terrified Tabitha, seeming to reproach him for his relaxed
vigilance, and he blamed himself bitterly for the calamity the day had
brought upon her. At last he crept home again and went to bed, where in
the anguish of his spirit, boy though he was, he dampened the pillow
with a few salty tears.

But strange as it may seem, Mr. Catt had the worst time of all. For the
first time in all his selfish life he seemed to see things as they
really were and to realize, in a measure, what a failure he had made of
his fatherhood. His slumbering conscience was roused and for a few hours
he had an uncomfortable struggle with himself; but though he regretted
his harshness, the habits of a lifetime are not laid aside in a moment,
and in the end he regarded himself as more sinned against than sinning.

If only Fortune had favored him as it had some other people--if only his
wife had been spared him--if only friends had been true to him, it might
have been different. Maybe he had been too severe with the girl, but she
must be taught obedience. She was too much of a spitfire already, and
there was no telling what she might do if some restraint was not put
upon her. Still, perhaps a lighter punishment would have served the
purpose just as well. She was a bright child; yes, he would admit that.
Maybe if she had looked a little more like the angel mother--and yet
sometimes he could scarcely bear to look at the boy because in Tom's
face he saw so often the warm tenderness that had endeared the mother to
all who knew her, and the deep, soft brown eyes that always looked
straight in one's face seemed to reproach him for his sternness and
neglect. He had mourned because the boy had not inherited the black hair
and eyes and the disposition of the Catts, and now he was sorry because
the girl had. He sighed; if only--

From the next room came a deep, heavy, sobbing sigh, as if an echo of
his. Tabitha had at last fallen asleep and in her slumber had tossed
aside the suffocating pillow from her hot, throbbing head. He sat
looking at the closed door for some minutes; then, hardly knowing why he
did so