his last substitution, but was overruled.

The Tennessee Shad then divested himself of his coat and undergarments
amid cries of:

"Oh, you ribs!"

"What do they feed you?"

"Oh, you wish-bones!"

"Oh, you shad-bones!"

Macnooder then claimed that the undershirt was manifestly sewed to the
coat. The allegation was investigated and disproved, without in the
slightest ruffling the composure of the Tennessee Shad, who continued
his calculations while making a toothpick dance through his lips. By
means of safety pins, he next fastened the back and one wing of his
collar to his coat, so that one motion would clothe his upper half.

"I protest," said Doc Macnooder.

"Denied," said Turkey Reiter, as foreman of the jury.

The Tennessee Shad, donning the nightshirt, carefully unloosened the
laces of his low shoes, drew them off and arranged the socks inside of
them so as to economize the extra movement.

"The socks aren't his!" said Macnooder. "They're big enough for P.
Lentz."

"Proceed," said Turkey Reiter.

The Tennessee Shad then unloosened his belt and the trousers slipped
down him as a sailor down a greased pole.

Macnooder once more protested and was squelched.

The Tennessee Shad arranged the voluminous trousers, cast a final
glance, placed the toothpick on the table and went under the covers.

"All ready?" said Dink.

"Wait!" With the left hand he clutched the covers, with the right his
nightshirt, just back of the neck. "Ready now."

"Go!"

With one motion the Tennessee Shad flung the covers from him, tore off
his nightshirt and sprang from the bed like Venus from the waves.

The audience burst into cheers:

"Holy Mike."

"Greased lightning!"

"Oh, you Shad!"

"Gee, right through the pants!"

"Suffering Moses!"

"Look at him stab the shoes!"

"Right into the coat!"

"Go it, Shad!"

"Out for the record!"

"Gee, what a wash!"

"Come on, boy, come on!"

"Now for the part!"

"Hurray!"

"Hurrah!"

"Hurroo!"

"Time--twenty-six and one-fifth seconds," cried the shrill voice of
Dennis de Brian de Boru. "Equalizing the world's unchallenged
professional, amateur and scholastic record made by the late Hickey
Hicks! The champion's belt is now the Tennessee Shad's to have and to
hold. According to the program the champion and Doc Macnooder,
second-best score, will now run another heat for the mysterious sealed
prize, guaranteed to be worth over three dollars and fifty cents!"

Ma