artook of the refreshment which he had been forced
to pay for, so he resolutely denied.

"Von't you listen to my harguments, Mr Vanslyperken?" continued the
woman. "Well, then, I must resort to the last, which I never knew fail
yet." The woman went to the fire and pulled out the poker, which was
red hot, from between the bars. "Now then, my beauty, you must kiss
this, or drink some punch;" and she advanced it towards his nose, while
three or four others held him fast on his chair behind; the poker,
throwing out a glow of heat, was within an inch of the poor lieutenant's
nose: he could stand it no more, his face and eyes were scorched.

"Yes, yes," cried he at last, "if I must drink, then, I will. We will
settle this matter by-and-by," cried Vanslyperken, pouring down with
indignation the proffered glass.

"Now, Susan, don't ill-treat Mr Vanslyperken: I purtest against all
ill-treatment."

"Ill-treat, Mrs Salisbury! I am only giving him a lesson in
purliteness."

"Now, Mr What-the-devil's-your-name, you must drink off a glass of my
burnt brandy, or I shall be jealous," cried another; "and when I am
jealous I always takes to red-hot pokers." Resistance was in vain, the
poker was again taken from between the bars, and the burnt brandy went
down.

Again and again was Mr Vanslyperken forced to pour down his throat all
that was offered to him, or take the chance of having his nose burnt
off.

"Is it not wrong to mix your liquors in this way, Mr Vanslyperken?"
said Moggy, in bitter mockery.

The first allowance brought in was now dispatched, and the bell rung,
and double as much more ordered, to Vanslyperken's great annoyance; but
he was in the hands of the Philistines. What made the matter worse,
was, that the company grew every moment more uproarious, and there was
no saying when they would stop.

"A song--a song--a song from Mr Vanslyperken," cried one of the party.

"Hurrah! yes, a song from the jolly lieutenant."

"I can't sing," replied Vanslyperken.

"You shall sing, by the piper who played before Moses," said the virago;
"if not, you shall sing out to some purpose;" and the red-hot poker was
again brandished in her masculine fist, and she advanced to him, saying,
"Suppose we hargue that point?"

"Would you murder me, woman?"

"No; singing is no murder, but we ax a song, and a song we must have."

"I don't know one--upon my honour I don't," cried Vanslyperken.

"Then, we'll larn you. And now