-(Dshk, dshk, dshk*--that's the larnin'!)--He that carries an empty
purse may fwhistle at the thief. It's _sing_ in the Latin; but sing or
fwhistle, in my opinion, he that goes wid an empty purse seldom sings
or fwhistl'es to a pleasant tune. Melancholy music I'd call it, an'
wouldn't, may be, be much asthray al'ther--Hem. At all evints, may none
of this present congregation, whin at their devotions, ever sing or
fwhistle to the same time! No; let it be to 'money in both pockets,'
if you sing at all; and as long as you have that, never fear but you'll
also have the 'priest in his boots' into the bargain--("Ha, ha,
ha!--God bless him, isn't he the pleasant gentleman, all out--ha, ha,
ha!--moreover, an' by the same a token, it's thrue as Gospel, so it
is,")--for well I know you're the high-spirited people, who wouldn't see
your priest without them, while a fat parson, with half-a-dozen chins
upon him, red and rosy, goes about every day in the week bogged in
boots, like a horse-trooper!--("Ha, ha, ha!--good, Father Dan! More
power to you--ha, ha, ha! We're the boys that wouldn't see you in want
o' them, sure enough. Isn't he the droll crathur?")

* This sound, which expresses wonder, is produced by
striking the tip of the tongue against the palate.

"But suppose a man hasn't money, what is he to do? Now this divides
itself into what is called Hydrostatics an' Metaphuysics, and must be
proved logically in the following manner:

"First, we suppose him not to have the money--there I may be wrong or I
may be right; now for the illustration and the logic.

"Pether Donovan."

"Here, your Reverence."

"Now, Pether, if I suppose you to have no money, am I right, or am I
wrong?"

"Why, thin, I'd be sarry to prove your Reverence to be wrong, so I
would; but, for all that, I believe I must give it aginst you."

"How much have you got, Pether?"

"Ethen, but 'tis your Reverence that's comin' close upon me; two or
three small note an' some silver."

"How much silver, Pether?"

"I'll tell your Reverence in a jiffy--I ought to have a ten shillin',
barring the price of a quarther o' tobaccy that I bought at the
crass-roads boyant. Nine shillins an' somo hapuns, yer Reverence."

"Very good, Pether, you must hand me the silver, till I give the rest of
the illustration wid it."

"But does your Reverence mind another ould proverb?--'a fool an' his
money's asy parted.' Sure an' I know you're goin' to do a joke upon me.