an invisible listener to the uproar.

"I 'clar ter gracious!" screamed the fat, colored cook, "I aint a-gwine
ter stan' it no longer! Po' white trash a-layin' up in bed all mornin,'
an' den it's eggs! Eggs biled, eggs scrabbled, an' homilies (omelettes)
tell yer can't res' nohow! I'se mazin' tired of it all, I tell yer! I'se
gwine ter quit--I is!"

"You'se gwine ter quit--you is! I speck! I'm done heerd dat talk eber
day dis month," jeered cook number two. "Ef you quits you kin jest bet
yer bottom dollar I aint a-gwine to stay. Got more'n I kin do now--I is."

"An' what yer reckon dis chile's goin' ter do den?" pertly chimed in the
mulatto kitchen maid. "I'm got all de runnin' roun' ter do, an' yer kin
jist bet I don't have no easy time. Quit as quick as yer please--all
of yer--I'll go 'long wid de crowd!" and with a toss of her woolly
bangs, she dumped a pan of potato peelings out at the door.

"Dry up! dry up!" broke in the head waiter, appearing on the scene in
true autocrat fashion. He boasted of "right smart book learnin'," and
was a recognised power in the land. "You don't have no trouble at all to
what I do. It's run here, there and everywhere, all in a minute, with a
dozen blockheads to look after. And it's precious few tips I get here,
I promise you! I never see as stingy a lot o' people in all my born
days. Say! you there, Jim! fetch that tray along! What are you gapin'
at, nigger?"

"Don't you nigger me, you black dude!" retorted the darkey, and as
he spoke a smart chambermaid pranced along, flirting back at another
waiter, and ran plump against the boy, tray and all. Down went the
dishes with a clatter which brought a bevy of waiters and maids on the
scene, while the laundress rushed in, all dripping with soapsuds. This
so irritated the head waiter that he seized a teacup and threw it at
the unlucky tray man. Then followed a fusillade of broken crockery and
promiscuous dodging of giggling maids and explosive men-servants.

The fat cook interposed a threatening, hissing tea-kettle to stop the
war, and the perplexed housekeeper appeared among the belligerents as
the overwhelmed proprietor beat a hasty retreat. Stealing unperceived
along the corridors, an idea struck him. This state of things was simply
dreadful; something must be done. He quickly decided. He despatched his
little son to the rooms and all about the premises to request the guests
to assemble to an affair of state in the imposing chamber kn