e enthusiasm
by delivering the flattest, insipidest, silliest of all responses to
"Woman" that ever a weary multitude listened to. Then Gen. Sherman
(Chairman) announced my toast, and the crowd gave me a good round of
applause as I mounted on top of the dinner table, but it was only on
account of my name, nothing more--they were all tired and wretched. They
let my first sentence go in silence, till I paused and added "we stand
on common ground"--then they burst forth like a hurricane and I saw that
I had them! From that time on, I stopped at the end of each sentence,
and let the tornado of applause and laughter sweep around me--and when I
closed with "And if the child is but the prophecy of the man, there are
mighty few who will doubt that he succeeded," I say it who oughtn't to
say it, the house came down with a crash. For two hours and a half, now,
I've been shaking hands and listening to congratulations. Gen. Sherman
said, "Lord bless you, my boy, I don't know how you do it--it's a secret
that's beyond me--but it was great--give me your hand again."

And do you know, Gen. Grant sat through fourteen speeches like a graven
image, but I fetched him! I broke him up, utterly! He told me he laughed
till the tears came and every bone in his body ached. (And do you know,
the biggest part of the success of the speech lay in the fact that the
audience saw that for once in his life he had been knocked out of his
iron serenity.)

Bless your soul, 'twas immense. I never was so proud in my life. Lots
and lots of people--hundreds I might say--told me my speech was
the triumph of the evening--which was a lie. Ladies, Tom, Dick and
Harry--even the policemen--captured me in the halls and shook hands,
and scores of army officers said "We shall always be grateful to you for
coming." General Pope came to bunt me up--I was afraid to speak to him
on that theatre stage last night, thinking it might be presumptuous to
tackle a man so high up in military history. Gen. Schofield, and other
historic men, paid their compliments. Sheridan was ill and could not
come, but I'm to go with a General of his staff and see him before I go
to Col. Grant's. Gen. Augur--well, I've talked with them all, received
invitations from them all--from people living everywhere--and as I said
before, it's a memorable night. I wouldn't have missed it for anything
in the world.

But my sakes, you should have heard Ingersoll's speech on that table!
Half an hour ago he