mfortably; which
was well, for it was now quite dark.
My first care was for my matches; were they dry? The outside of my swag
had got completely wet; but, on undoing the blankets, I found things warm
and dry within. How thankful I was! I lit a fire, and was grateful for
its warmth and company. I made myself some tea and ate two of my
biscuits: my brandy I did not touch, for I had little left, and might
want it when my courage failed me. All that I did, I did almost
mechanically, for I could not realise my situation to myself, beyond
knowing that I was alone, and that return through the chasm which I had
just descended would be impossible. It is a dreadful feeling that of
being cut off from all one's kind. I was still full of hope, and built
golden castles for myself as soon as I was warmed with food and fire; but
I do not believe that any man could long retain his reason in such
solitude, unless he had the companionship of animals. One begins
doubting one's own identity.
I remember deriving comfort even from the sight of my blankets, and the
sound of my watch ticking--things which seemed to link me to other
people; but the screaming of the wood-hens frightened me, as also a
chattering bird which I had never heard before, and which seemed to laugh
at me; though I soon got used to it, and before long could fancy that it
was many years since I had first heard it.
I took off my clothes, and wrapped my inside blanket about me, till my
things were dry. The night was very still, and I made a roaring fire; so
I soon got warm, and at last could put my clothes on again. Then I
strapped my blanket round me, and went to sleep as near the fire as I
could.
I dreamed that there was an organ placed in my master's wool-shed: the
wool-shed faded away, and the organ seemed to grow and grow amid a blaze
of brilliant light, till it became like a golden city upon the side of a
mountain, with rows upon rows of pipes set in cliffs and precipices, one
above the other, and in mysterious caverns, like that of Fingal, within
whose depths I could see the burnished pillars gleaming. In the front
there was a flight of lofty terraces, at the top of which I could see a
man with his head buried forward towards a key-board, and his body
swaying from side to side amid the storm of huge arpeggioed harmonies
that came crashing overhead and round. Then there was one who touched me
on the shoulder, and said, "Do you not see? it is Handel";
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