, d'Urberville pausing beside her.

"Don't mention my little brothers and sisters--don't make me break
down quite!" she said. "If you want to help them--God knows they
need it--do it without telling me. But no, no!" she cried. "I will
take nothing from you, either for them or for me!"

He did not accompany her further, since, as she lived with the
household, all was public indoors. No sooner had she herself
entered, laved herself in a washing-tub, and shared supper with the
family than she fell into thought, and withdrawing to the table under
the wall, by the light of her own little lamp wrote in a passionate
mood--

MY OWN HUSBAND,--

Let me call you so--I must--even if it makes you angry to
think of such an unworthy wife as I. I must cry to you
in my trouble--I have no one else! I am so exposed to
temptation, Angel. I fear to say who it is, and I do not
like to write about it at all. But I cling to you in a way
you cannot think! Can you not come to me now, at once,
before anything terrible happens? O, I know you cannot,
because you are so far away! I think I must die if you do
not come soon, or tell me to come to you. The punishment
you have measured out to me is deserved--I do know that--
well deserved--and you are right and just to be angry with
me. But, Angel, please, please, not to be just--only a
little kind to me, even if I do not deserve it, and come to
me! If you would come, I could die in your arms! I would
be well content to do that if so be you had forgiven me!

Angel, I live entirely for you. I love you too much to
blame you for going away, and I know it was necessary you
should find a farm. Do not think I shall say a word of
sting or bitterness. Only come back to me. I am desolate
without you, my darling, O, so desolate! I do not mind
having to work: but if you will send me one little line,
and say, "I am coming soon," I will bide on, Angel--O, so
cheerfully!

It has been so much my religion ever since we were married
to be faithful to you in every thought and look, that even
when a man speaks a compliment to me before I am aware, it
seems wronging you. Have you never felt one little bit of
what you used to feel when we were at the dairy? If you
have, how can you keep away from me? I am the same women,
Angel, as you fell in love with; yes, the very same!--not
the one you disli