king cut me short
by saying, 'Take those people there, sir, and don't delay us;' pointing
to the two gentlemen in cocked hats, bags, and swords, that looked as if
they could have danced on my grave with delight.

"In a flurry--compared to which a fever was composure--I instructed my
two new assistants in the duty, and stationing myself with the hose to
direct the operation of the jet, I gave the word to begin. Well! instead
of a great dash of water spurting out some fifty feet in height, and
fizzing through the air like a rocket, there came a trickling, miserable
dribble, that puddled at my very feet! I thought the sucker was
clogged--the piston stopped--the valves impeded--twenty things did I
fancy--but the sober truth was, these gilded rascals would n't do more
than touch the crank with the tips of their fingers, and barely put
sufficient force in the pressure to move the arm up and down. 'Work it
harder--put more strength to it,' I whispered, in mortal fear to be
overheard, but they never minded me in the least Indeed, I almost think
one fellow winked his eye ironically when I addressed him.

"'Eh--what!' said the king, after ten minutes of an exhibition that were
to me ten years at the galleys, 'these pumps do next to nothing. They
make noise enough, but don't bring up any water at all.'

"The First Lord shook his head in assent. Old Beaufort made me a sign to
give up the trial, and the post-captain blurted out, in a half-whisper,
something about a 'blundering son of a dog's wife' that nearly drove me
mad.

"'I say, Sickleton,' said the king, 'your invention's not worth the
solder it cost you. You couldn't sprinkle the geraniums yonder in three
weeks with it.'

"'It's all the fault of these d----d buffers, please your Majesty,' said
I, driven clean out of my senses by failure and disgrace--and, to be
sure, as hearty a roar of laughter followed as ever I listened to in
my life--'if they 'd only bear a hand and work the crank as I showed
them--' As I spoke, I leaned over and took hold of the crank myself,
letting the hose rest on my shoulder.

"With two vigorous pulls I filled the pistons full, and, at the third,
rush went the stream with the force of a Congreve--not, indeed, over the
trees, as I expected, but full in the face of the First Lord; scarcely
was his cry uttered, when a fourth dash laid him full upon his back,
drenched from head to foot, and nearly senseless from the shock. The
king screamed with la