s
really made in 'eaven, then there ought to be a 'Returned with thanks'
department. That's my view." The happy smile with which Bindle
accompanied the remark robbed it of its sting.

For some time Mrs. Bindle continued her toilette in silence, and Bindle
puffed contentedly at his cigar. Mrs. Bindle was the first to speak.

"I hope you'll be careful what you say to-night." She had just put on
her bonnet and with many strange grimaces had at last adjusted it and
the veil to her satisfaction.

As she spoke she began to draw on a pair of tight brown kid gloves,
which so contracted her palms as to render her hands practically
useless.

"Our minister is to be there," she continued, "and I don't want to feel
ashamed."

"You ain't a-goin' to feel ashamed o' this, are yer?" enquired Bindle,
as he rose and looked down at himself with obvious appreciation.
"There ain't a-goin' to be nothin' tastier at 'Earty's to-night than
yours truly."

As Mrs. Bindle turned towards the door Bindle lifted his hat with
elaborate courtesy and offered her his left arm. With a sniff of
disdain Mrs. Bindle passed out of the room.

"I'll find out where you got it, see if I don't," she called out over
her shoulder.

"Well, well!" muttered Bindle as he leisurely followed her. "I never
was able to lose anythink I wanted to, nor keep anythink I didn't want
ter lose. 'Ow a cove can commit bigamy does me. Fancy two Mrs. B.'s!
'Old me, 'Orace!"

The Bindles' progress from Fenton Street to the Heartys' private door
was something of a triumph for Mrs. Bindle. The neighbours turned out
in force, and Bindle exchanged pleasantries with them, whilst Mrs.
Bindle smiled in what was to her an entirely prodigal manner.

"Funny thing me wearin' a top 'at," Bindle had remarked, as he lifted
it for about the twentieth time, this time to a policeman, who stared
hard at him. Bindle was in a mood to be extremely pleasant with
everybody, and he raised his hat impartially to those he knew and those
he did not know.

The Bindles were late. The invitation had been for seven o'clock, and
it was fully half-past seven when they arrived. They were admitted by
the maid-of-all-work, resplendent in a befrilled cap and apron. Bindle
winked at her, the girl giggled, and Mrs. Bindle glared.

When Mr. and Mrs. Bindle were announced, a hush fell upon the fifteen
or twenty guests who sat in rigid attitudes round the Heartys'
drawing-room. Conversation had bee