evil of my wayward nature.

How the sweet thought of it grew and grew until it pervaded my entire
being, making my whole life harmonious and beautiful as the song she
sang to me--a sublime and glorious dream! I did not check this pure and
fervid flow of happiness with doubts and fears. I did not rouse myself
to inquire whether this great truth concerning us might not, owing to
some peculiarity of my organization, be clearly and perfectly revealed
to _me_, and me _alone_; so that the truth being but dimly and vaguely
foreshadowed to her mind, the effect could not be as permanent and
living as in mine. I did not ruffle my soul's serenity with dark
forebodings and bootless queries.

Such revelations are certainly, in consequence of their greater
spirituality, more frequently made to women than to men, and I rested
upon this, not thinking the reverse might be the case in the present
instance; and through the long days of that golden summer I dreamed on
and on. The powerful attraction, whose nature was so plainly revealed to
me that night, and faintly shadowed forth to her, now drew us together
more and more, and for a time our companionship was almost constant. We
read, we walked, we talked together; we wandered through summer groves
in the twilight, or, seated on the mossy root of some old tree, watched
the light dying in the west, and the stars come out one by one; or
viewed the sun slowly and majestically disappearing beneath the horizon,
gorgeous with clouds of purple and of gold; or marked the varied changes
of the sky on the calm expanse of summer water, stretching far away
before us. And when the light had disappeared, leaving but a dull leaden
surface, we closed our eyes and listened to the wild, mysterious murmur
of the waters as they touched the sounding shore. Oh, brief and fleeting
dream of earthly joy! Oh, light, warmth, and sunshine! Happiness too
spiritual; companionship too blest for earth! Mortal type of the
immortal bliss that awaits me, which is drawing nearer to me day by day!
I never shall believe that she did not love me _then_, unconsciously as
it must have been, for it was not in a nature like hers to prove
recreant to a holy impulse. Yes, I know she then loved me! It was this
belief alone which upheld me in the chill night darkness that fell upon
my soul after shutting out the warmth and light. I'm sure she loved me
_then_. I could note the silent working of the _great law_ that was
unconsciously