esides I care enough about our companionship to continue it,
whatever untruths are said or thought about me. But how about
_you_, Clive? Because I also care enough for you to give you
up if my being seen with you is going to disgrace you.
"This is my confession. I have told you all. Now, could you
tell me what it is best for us to do?
"Think clearly; act wisely; don't even dream of sacrificing
yourself with your usual generosity--if it is indeed to be a
case for self-sacrifice. Let me do that by giving you up. I
shall do it anyway if ever I am convinced that my
companionship is hurting your reputation.
"Be just to us both by being frank with me. Your decision
shall be my law.
"This is a long, long letter. I can't seem to let it go to
you--as though when I mail it I am snapping one more bond
that still seems to hold us together.
"My daily life is agreeable if a trifle monotonous. I have
been out two or three times, once to see the Morgan
Collection at the Metropolitan Museum--very dazzling and
wonderful. What strange thoughts it evoked in me--thrilling,
delightful, exhilarating--as though inspiring me to some
blind effort or other. Isn't it ridiculous?--as though _I_
had it in me to do anything or be anybody! I'm merely telling
you how all that exquisite art affected me--_me_--a working
girl. And Oh, Clive! I don't think anything ever gave me as
much pleasure as did the paintings by the French masters,
Lancret, Drouais, and Fragonard! (You see I had a catalogue!)
"Another evening I went out with Catharine. Mr. Reeve asked
us, and another man. We went to see 'Once Upon a Time' at the
Half-Moon Theatre, and afterward we went to supper at the
Cafe Columbine.
"Another evening the other man, Mr. Reeve's friend, a Mr.
Hargrave, asked me to see 'Under the Sun' at the Zig-Zag
Theatre. It was a tiresome show. We went to supper afterward
to meet Catharine and Mr. Reeve.
"That is all except that I've dined out once or twice with
Mr. Hargrave. And, somehow or other I felt queer and even
conspicuous going to the Regina with him and to other places
where you and I have been so often together...Also I felt a
little depressed. Everything always reminded me of you and of
happy evenings with you. I can't seem to get used to going
about with other men. But they seem to be very nice, very
kind, a
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