FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43  
44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   >>   >|  
ue enough," answered Markland, with some coldness and abstraction of manner. The doctrine was neither flattering to his reason, nor agreeable to his feelings. He was too confirmed a lover of himself to receive willingly teaching like this. A type of the mass around him, he was content to look down the dim future for signs of the approaching millennium, instead of into his own heart. He could give hundreds of dollars in aid of missions to convert the heathen, and to bring in the islands of the sea, as means of hastening the expected time; but was not ready, as a surer means to this end, to repress a single selfish impulse of his nature. The conversation was still further prolonged, with but slight change in the subject. At parting with his neighbour, Markland found himself more disturbed than before. A sun ray had streamed suddenly into the darkened chambers of his mind, disturbing the night birds there, and dimly revealing an inner world of disorder, from which his eyes vainly sought to turn themselves. If the mental disease from which he was suffering had its origin in the causes indicated by Mr. Allison, there seemed little hope of a cure in his case. How was he, who all his life long had regarded himself, and those who were of his own flesh and blood, as only to be thought of and cared for, to forget himself, and seek, as the higher end of his existence, the good of others? The thought created no quicker heart-beat--threw no warmer tint on the ideal future toward which his eyes of late had so fondly turned themselves. To live for others and not for himself--this was to extinguish his very life. What were others to him? All of his world was centred in his little home-circle. Alas! that its power to fill the measure of his desires was gone--its brightness dimmed--its attraction a binding-spell no longer! And so Markland strove to shut out from his mind the light shining in through the little window opened by Mr. Allison; but the effort was in vain. Steadily the light came in, disturbing the owls and bats, and revealing dust, cankering mould, and spider-web obstructions. All on the outside was fair to the world; and as fair, he had believed, within. To be suddenly shown his error, smote him with a painful sense of humiliation. "What is the highest and noblest attribute of manhood?" Mr. Allison had asked of him during their conversation. Markland did not answer the question. "The highest excellence--the grea
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43  
44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   >>   >|  



Top keywords:
Markland
 
Allison
 
disturbing
 

conversation

 

suddenly

 
revealing
 
highest
 

thought

 

future

 

higher


turned

 
fondly
 

existence

 

extinguish

 
centred
 

created

 

forget

 

circle

 

warmer

 

quicker


longer

 

painful

 

believed

 

cankering

 

spider

 
obstructions
 
humiliation
 

answer

 
question
 

excellence


noblest

 

attribute

 

manhood

 

attraction

 

dimmed

 
binding
 

regarded

 

brightness

 

measure

 

desires


strove

 

effort

 
Steadily
 

opened

 

window

 
shining
 
vainly
 

millennium

 

approaching

 
content