as critically and carefully as if I were somebody
else. I saw a great rope of dark brown hair ... a brown skin with red
cheeks ... a big red mouth ... a pair of grey eyes. That was all. And
when I thought of that shimmering witch woman with her white skin and
shining hair I wanted to put out the light and cry in the dark. Only
I've never cried since I was a child and broke my last doll, and I've
got so out of the habit that I don't know how to go about it.

* * * * *

April Fifth.

Aunt Jemima would not think I was getting the good out of my diary. A
whole month and not a word! But there was nothing to write, and I've
felt too miserable to write if there had been. I don't know what is
the matter with me. I'm just cross and horrid to everyone, even to
poor Sidney.

Mrs. Rennie has been queening it in Riverton society for the past
month. People rave over her and I admire her horribly, although I
don't like her. Mrs. Burnett says that a match between her and Sidney
Elliot is a foregone conclusion.

It's plain to be seen that Mrs. Rennie loves Sidney. Even I can see
that, and I don't know much about such things. But it puzzles me to
know how Sidney regards her. I have never thought he showed any sign
of really caring for her. But then, he isn't the kind that would.

"Nic, I wonder if you will ever grow up," he said to me today,
laughing, when he caught me racing over the lawn with the dogs.

"I'm grown up now," I said crossly. "Why, I'm eighteen and a half and
I'm two inches taller than any of the other girls."

Sidney laughed, as if he were heartily amused at something.

"You're a blessed baby," he said, "and the dearest, truest, jolliest
little chum ever a fellow had. I don't know what I'd do without you,
Nic. You keep me sane and wholesome. I'm a tenfold better man for
knowing you, little girl."

I was rather pleased. It was nice to think I was some good to Sidney.

"Are you going to the Trents' dinner tonight?" I asked.

"Yes," he said briefly.

"Mrs. Rennie will be there," I said.

Sidney nodded.

"Do you think her so very handsome, Sidney?" I said. I had never
mentioned Mrs. Rennie to him since the day we were coasting, and I
didn't mean to now. The question just asked itself.

"Yes, very; but not as handsome as you will be ten years from now,
Nic," said Sidney lightly.

"Do you think I'm handsome, Sidney?" I cried.