he buck, who would carefully translate and impress the
instructions upon her memory with the aid of a bale stick. The thing
which he put most stress upon was that she was to remain absolutely
still, no matter what happened. I sold the tickets and put up the spiel
on the front, and Merritt lectured inside and we did a land-office
business. Lots of smart guys came around and tried to get gay with the
mermaid, but she couldn't understand their joshing and never cracked a
smile. The blame tent caught fire one night when it was filled with
people, and she had such a wholesome recollection of the bale stick
that she kept as still as a cigar-store Indian until we had cleared the
place and put the fire out.

"'Jim,' says Merritt as he looked her over admiringly after that
experience, 'there is a great advantage in having a squaw for the top
part of that there fish. She can't understand what the Willie boys say
to her and nothing feazes her. A white gal would have had hysterics and
given the whole snap away.' It gave Merritt a lot more confidence and we
felt pretty safe after that experience, and neglected to have the buck
repeat his bale-stick admonitions to her upon the necessity of
cultivating repose of manner. Everything was lovely and we were turning
hundreds of people away and making more money than the big show. One
afternoon we were playing to a record house and Merritt was doing
himself proud on his lecture.

"'Ladies and gentlemen,' says he, 'I have the honor to present to this
intelligent audience a creature which is commonly, but erroneously,
supposed to be extinct at the present day; but you have before you a
living and convincing proof that mermaids still exist. I confess that
until I was able to obtain this unique specimen, which was captured
while basking in the sun and singing a love song upon an iceberg in the
Antarctic Ocean, I shared the opinions of my fellow scientists that the
mermaid was a fabulous or extinct creature; for during a lifetime
devoted to exhibiting the mysterious marvels of nature to the American
public it had never been my good fortune to acquire one. You will
observe that she is half woman and half fish, and she is perfectly
helpless when out of the water. She is unfortunately unable to express
herself in any known tongue; in fact, she has never uttered a sound
since her capture and we fear that she has lost her voice, which--' Just
then he was interrupted by a howl of terror from the plat