d, of whom I had a
wholesome fear, or perhaps an unwholesome one. Except at morning Bible
reading and at church my parents never mentioned the name of the Deity,
save to instruct me formally. Intended or no, the effect of my religious
training was to make me ashamed of discussing spiritual matters,
and naturally I failed to perceive that this was because it laid
its emphasis on personal salvation.... I did not, however, become an
unbeliever, for I was not of a nature to contemplate with equanimity a
godless universe....

My sufferings during these series of afternoon confinements did not come
from remorse, but were the result of a vague sense of injury; and their
effect was to generate within me a strange motive power, a desire to do
something that would astound my father and eventually wring from him the
confession that he had misjudged me. To be sure, I should have to wait
until early manhood, at least, for the accomplishment of such a coup.
Might it not be that I was an embryonic literary genius? Many were the
books I began in this ecstasy of self-vindication, only to abandon them
when my confinement came to an end.

It was about this time, I think, that I experienced one of those shocks
which have a permanent effect upon character. It was then the custom
for ladies to spend the day with one another, bringing their sewing; and
sometimes, when I unexpectedly entered the sitting-room, the voices of
my mother's visitors would drop to a whisper. One afternoon I returned
from school to pause at the head of the stairs. Cousin Bertha Ewan and
Mrs. McAlery were discussing with my mother an affair that I judged from
the awed tone in which they spoke might prove interesting.

"Poor Grace," Mrs. McAlery was saying, "I imagine she's paid a heavy
penalty. No man alive will be faithful under those circumstances."

I stopped at the head of the stairs, with a delicious, guilty feeling.

"Have they ever heard of her?" Cousin Bertha asked.

"It is thought they went to Spain," replied Mrs. McAlery, solemnly, yet
not without a certain zest. "Mr. Jules Hollister will not have her name
mentioned in his presence, you know. And Whitcomb chased them as far as
New York with a horse-pistol in his pocket. The report is that he got
to the dock just as the ship sailed. And then, you know, he went to live
somewhere out West,--in Iowa, I believe."

"Did he ever get a divorce?" Cousin Bertha inquired.

"He was too good a church member, my de