audience;
which I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal
merits, as well as the many good offices he had done me during my
solicitations at court. I offered to lie down, that he might the more
conveniently reach my ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him in
my hand during our conversation. He began with compliments on my
liberty; said he might pretend to some merit in it; but, however,
added, that if it had not been for the present situation of things at
court, perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon. "For," said he,
"as flourishing a condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners,
we labor under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the
danger of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the
first, you are to understand that for above seventy moons past there
have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of
_Tramecksan_ and _Slamecksan_, from the high and low heels of their
shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged, indeed,
that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution;
but, however this may be, his majesty hath determined to make use of
only low heels in the administration of the government and all offices
in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe: and particularly
that his majesty's imperial heels are lower at least by a _drurr_ than
any of his court [_drurr_ is a measure about the fourteenth part of an
inch]. The animosities between these two parties run so high, that
they will neither eat nor drink nor talk with each other. We compute
the _Tramecksan_, or high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power
is wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to
the crown, to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least, we
can plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other,
which gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these
intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the
island of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe,
almost as large and powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what we
heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the
world inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our
philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you
dropped from the moon, or one of the stars; because it is certain that
an hundred mortals of your bulk would in a short time de