l of her father as is over
the water a-livin' in the fine 'Straley. And you must know, sir, that
one of summer's day there comes a knock at our door as sends my 'eart
into my mouth and makes me cry out, "The coppers, by jabbers!" and
when I goes down and opens the door, lo! and behold, there stan's a
chap wi' great goggle eyes, dressed all in shiny black, jest like a
Quaker.' (Here she made a noise between a laugh and a cough.) 'I
allus say that when I do die I shall die a-larfin'--unless I die
a-cryin',' she added, in the same altered voice that had struck me
before.

'Well, mother,' said Cyril, 'and what did the shiny Quaker say?'

'They calls me "Jokin' Meg" in Primrose Court. The shiny Quaker, 'e
axes if my name is Gudgeon. "Well," sez I, "supposin' as my name _is_
Gudgeon,--I don't say it is," says I, "but supposin' as it is,--what
then?" sez I. "But _is_ that your name?" sez 'e. "Supposin' as it
was," sez I, "what then?" "Will you answer my simple kervestion?" sez
'e. "Is your name Mrs. Gudgeon, or ain't it not?" sez 'e. "An' will
_you_ answer _my_ simple kervestion, Mr. Shiny Quaker?" sez I.
"Supposin' my name was Mrs. Gudgeon,--I don't say it _is_, but
supposin' it was,--what's that to you?" sez I, for I thought my poor
bor Bob what lives in the country had got into trouble agin and had
sent for me.'

'Go on, mother,' said Cyril, 'what did the shiny Quaker say then?'

'"Well then," sez 'e, "if your name is Mrs. Gudgeon, there is a
pootty gal as is, I am told, a-livin' along o' you." "Oh, oh, my fine
shiny Quaker gent," sez I, an' I flings the door wide open an' there
I stan's in the doorway, "it's _her_ you wants, is it?" sez I. "And
pray what does my fine shiny Quaker gent want wi' my darter?" "Your
darter?" sez 'e, an opens 'is mouth like this, and shets it agin like
a rat-trap. "Yis, my darter," sez I. "I s'pose," sez I, "you think
she ain't 'ansom enough to be my darter. No more she ain't," sez I;
"but she takes arter her father, an' werry sorry she is for it," sez
I. "I want to put her in the way of 'arnin' some money," sez 'e. "Oh,
_do_ you?" sez I. "How very kind! I'm sure it does a pore woman's
'eart good to see how kind you gents is to us pore women's pootty
darters," sez I,--"even shiny Quaker gents as is generally so quiet.
You're not the fust shiny gent," sez I, "as 'ez followed 'er 'um, I
can tell you,--not the fust by a long way; but up to now," sez I,
"I've allus managed to send you all aw