'Twere for her honour.

Flam. And so you should be certain in one fortnight,
Despite her chastity or innocence,
To be cuckolded, which yet is in suspense:
This is my counsel, and I ask no fee for 't.

Cam. Come, you know not where my nightcap wrings me.

Flam. Wear it a' th' old fashion; let your large ears come through,
it will be more easy--nay, I will be bitter--bar your wife of her
entertainment: women are more willingly and more gloriously chaste,
when they are least restrained of their liberty. It seems you would
be a fine capricious, mathematically jealous coxcomb; take the height
of your own horns with a Jacob's staff, afore they are up. These
politic enclosures for paltry mutton, makes more rebellion in the
flesh, than all the provocative electuaries doctors have uttered since
last jubilee.

Cam. This doth not physic me----

Flam. It seems you are jealous: I 'll show you the error of it by a
familiar example: I have seen a pair of spectacles fashioned with such
perspective art, that lay down but one twelve pence a' th' board,
'twill appear as if there were twenty; now should you wear a pair of
these spectacles, and see your wife tying her shoe, you would imagine
twenty hands were taking up of your wife's clothes, and this would put
you into a horrible causeless fury.

Cam. The fault there, sir, is not in the eyesight.

Flam. True, but they that have the yellow jaundice think all objects
they look on to be yellow. Jealousy is worse; her fits present to a
man, like so many bubbles in a basin of water, twenty several crabbed
faces, many times makes his own shadow his cuckold-maker. [Enter
Vittoria Corombona.] See, she comes; what reason have you to be
jealous of this creature? what an ignorant ass or flattering knave
might be counted, that should write sonnets to her eyes, or call her
brow the snow of Ida, or ivory of Corinth; or compare her hair to the
blackbird's bill, when 'tis liker the blackbird's feather? This is
all. Be wise; I will make you friends, and you shall go to bed
together. Marry, look you, it shall not be your seeking. Do you stand
upon that, by any means: walk you aloof; I would not have you seen
in 't.--Sister [my lord attend you in the banqueting-house,] your
husband is wondrous discontented.

Vit. I did nothing to displease him; I carved to him at supper-time.

Flam. [You need n